it's gone...

...i think it's gone...
...i thought it's still there, although it is not the same anymore...
...i thought we can still chat, i thought i can bond us up together again...
...but it doesn't work, it just.... just doesn't work...
...maybe i shall just give up, yeah, maybe...
...feel the pain from the deepest part of my heart...
...tears rolling in my eyes, i try not to cry...
...yeah, it's gone, really gone...
...our friendship is gone...

the sound

... put my files and books on the table, went into my room, i lied on my bed...
... so exhausted, i feel so exhausted...
...closed my eyes, i tried to nap for a while...
...nobody was at home, and all left was the sound of fan turning...
...suddenly, i felt so scared, so scared, so afraid...
...it was the sound of loneliness...
...felt like crying...

week 3: of gastric pain, homework trauma, maths phobia and harry potter fever...

...my third week of study in KTT really passes fast...
...just recovering from a sudden fever on last saturday, i came back to KTT to start my third week of study here, with gastric, unfortunately... and the pain stretched from sunday to tuesday just because i didnt take antacids... no matter how much i ate, and how difficult i swallowed down the food because the gastric pain was killing me off, the gastric pain was still haunting me... couldn't stand of the sudden pain which attacked me during my classes anymore, i asked for antacids from mr.ALBERT.. after taking two antacid pills, i got better eventually... really grateful that the killing pain had finally left me...
...and then the week was all about homework and tests...i had my biology test on monday, followed by maths on tuesday. despite tests, i got bombarded with tonnes of homework from my lecturers everyday... so every night i was in library(as usual) trying to finish off my homework( which i never successed in doing it...) really feel the stress now as the exams coming ( 2 weeks to go) and i don't really can do all the tutorials, especially biology! ( don't understand chemistry until the very last minute, as usual lolz)
...as i told before, my maths lecture is like going on an express train, and it still is now... i completed 2 more chapters again this week, which means that another two miscellaneous exercises to be done! i don't really want to do maths anymore... it's getting hard, especially the graphs and functions (still can't get the domain and range right)... i think i have maths phobia now...
...and this week is truly a harry potter-fever week!! ever since the last book was published, my indian classmates KOHI and ASH were discussing it all the time!! they finished the last book within hours,which i got stunned hearing that... yeah, they are really die-hard fans of mr.HARRY...
... this week was really hectic,and i hope i'll be able to catch up all the things by next week!! IM ALL OUT FOR MY STUDIES!!!

happy birthday...

just want to wish you, a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

new timetable, new arrangement of time, new arrangement of life...

...starting today, i'll follow my new timetable in KTT...
...after the seniors took their IELTS exams last week, the administrators have changed our timetables... new timetable...means new arrangement of my time here, and also my life here...
...speaking of my new timetable, actually only 5 more hours of ENGLISH and KENEGARAAN classes are added, but .... MY TIMETABLE IS CHANGED UPSIDE-DOWN!!! my classes are thoroughly changed, and monday seems to be the worst day of study in one week!!! 9 hours of classes!!! from 8a.m. to 7p.m. straight , and i just have one and only break from 12p.m. to 2p.m.!!! it's hectic, really... AND IM GOING TO MISS FATE/STAY NIGHT BECAUSE MY CLASS ONLY END AT 7PM!!!!
...another day i don't really like is thursday, which is similar to the above---- the class ends at 7..... this really brings a lot of impact to my thursday life....because..... NO MORE PASAR MALAM!!!! NO MORE MURTABAK!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!! i really gonna miss my murtabak...
...the only good thing in my new timetable is that there is only one class on friday, which is mathematics lecture from 11-12... SO.... I CAN GO HOME EARLY!!! NO MORE SQUEEZING IN THE CROWDED KTM DURING BUSY HOURS!!! YIPPEE!!!!
...what to do?? it's decided... so i think i'll just have to follow the timetable and go on.....FIGHTING!!

i can foreseen a busy me in the future 5 months...

it is all about studies here in KTT... as an 1-year-programme student here, i have to finish my AS level this year, which means that i will have to take my AS examination this novenber... i can merely feel the stress now....haha

here in KTT, i have to take up chemistry, biology and mathematics, not counting in english and LAN subjects... i ahvn't start my english and LAN now, but i guess i'll have the classes soon, as the seniors will take their IELTS speaking examination this friday and saturday... so, i think my timetable will get even more compact!!! 9 hours of classes for biology, chemistry and mathematics every week, plus english and LANs, will i have any free time left?

i've been here for 3 weeks, not counting the 1-week orientation i had, which was so much fun, then i have started my studies for two weeks... and in these two weeks, life is really all about studies... 3 chapters of maths in the 1st week, and now i have finished 6 chapters in two weeks ( maybe will be finishing the 7th on friday)... for biology, my lecturer doesn't teach very fast, but she always finish it on time... for biology, my class will be finishing the 2nd chapter this friday... and for chemistry..... sigh... just finished two chapters, but i think we could be even faster.... madam, actually you can speed up you know?! and please... no more examples from the textbook, because we all can read through the examples in the textbook ourselves.......

.... life is all about studies here, but i will try my very best to make my life here as fun as possible!!! WILL NEVER EVER LEAVE ANY REGRETS IN THIS ONE YEAR TIME!!! till then.....

there was a baby bat in my apartment....

18th JULY 2007----- It was about 8.30p.m. The moment i opened my apartment door, i saw my friends all weaponed! "WHAT is happening here??"i whispered to myself... "heyy, there is a baby bat in the bathroom!!"my fellow housemate told me. HUH?! A BABY BAT? how come there is a baby bat in the bathroom?? i doubted if it was a joke... but .... NO IT WASN'T!!! there was really a small baby bat inside my bathroom!!!
.... and so we started "catching" the bat to release it out of my apartment...after much chaos and quite a lot of noise made, we finally managed to trap the bat inside a paper box... after that, we took the box down and release the bat at the abandoned shophouses opposite my college... haha, we gained so many attention that everyone at mamak was asking us what was inside the box... and their looked-so-surprised face expressions when we told them that there was a bat inside were really funny.....
.... however, i feel so sorry for the cute baby little bat... the baby bat was so cute!!! but we had no choice but to take it out of my apartment....sorry, baby bat.... don't simply fly into human's apartment next time!!! beware of your own safety!!!

my day... 16th july...

... 11.30a.m... i was on my bed in KTT, about to sleep... i wanted to sleep already, since there'll be class at 8a.m. tomorrow... but don't know why... i closed my eyes, but my mind was still in active mood... i guessed the inner side of me myself wanted to wait until 12a.m...

...12a.m... the time had finally come... yes, im offically 17... complicated feelings i had haha... 17, kind of hard to believe... after singing a birthday song to me myself, i was about to sleep... *sing birthday song to himself, pity this guy huh?!* suddenly *really suddenly*, i SENSED someone looking at me from outside my room!!!so i opened my eyes, and then they came in... yeahh, my housemates and my guys friends there... they came in and sang birthday song for me. 1st birthday song in KTT that i had... thanks to all of them!!!

...1a.m... i handphone was still vibrating in every few minutes!!! tonnes of messages i received!!! really appreciated all those messages from my fellow college-mates and my most lovely 5S1 pals!!! thank you guys!!! love you all so much!! but my eyes couldn't take it anymore... so i just ignored all the messages after that and fell asleep straight... thanks to all the people who sent me wishes through sms!!!

...7a.m... just woke up from my sleep, i opened my phone, and saw some unread messages... and then i prepared myself for MY DAY!!! still had to study though... HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEAN SENG!!

...8a.m... walked into my class at lecture hall 1, i received wishes from my fellow classmates, and it was followed by a simple but still nice birthday song... second and last birthday song for me this year.... and after that life just went on like normal... had my classes....

...2p.m... had my first time ever chemistry experiment ... did titration, and it was really fun... I LOVE EXPERIMENTS!!!

...6p.m... i was starving already... but they hadn't come down yet!!! okay! fine! if they don't come down after 6.30p.m., i won't wait for them anymore!!!

...6.45p.m... ordered nasi goreng cina... yes, i did not wait for them... couldn't wait anymore!!! i was starving already!! i know it's pity to have just fried rice for my birthday, but what to do? i shall be grateful for all the things i have got...

...8p.m... watched FATE/STAY NIGHT just now... watching KYO KARA MAOH in student lounge, and here they came... albert and chin liang bought me presents... and so did xiang wei who came in after that... thanks to albert, chin liang and xiang wei!!! * albert gave me cheezels, chin liang gave me nescafe latte, and xiang wei gave me cakes and 100plus... THE CAKE WAS SO NICE!!! yoghurt cheese cake, i'll remember it.... must eat it next time!!!

...11.59p.m... my day is going to end in 1 more minute... hmm... so it ended like this huh?! yeah, this year's birthday is still not bad for me,haha although i still can feel the lack of celebrations done...
but im really thankful for everything you all have done for me today!!! *what would my 18th birthday be? i wonder... * so, in this very last minute of my day, i want to thank all the people who had wished me throughout the whole day!!! may all your wishes come true!!! and here, lastly, i want to make my birthday wishes:
1. i hope i can excel in my coming A-level exams!!!!! 15 points hopefully!!! please.... make this wish come true!!!
2. i hope all the people i know, my lovely family, my fellow friends, and of course me myself, can live a HAPPY and HEALTHY life!!! hope that everything goes smooth in our lifes!!! GOOD LUCK!!
3. i'll keep this to myself... shh... it's top secret!!

...12a.m... it's 17th july now, and so my day ended..... lolz

17

...17 years old i am now...
... complicated feelings haha...
... 17 years old, 1 year before legal 18, 1 year after sweet 16, so what is 17?? sexay 17? i don't think this applies on me?! sweet 17? i hope to have one, but will it be possible? as life now is just all about studies?! sensitive 17?? hmmphh.... maybe... who knows?? haha teenagers are always sensitive, so maybe i will too... lolz....
... but .. what i actually want in my 17-year-old life?? first love?? excel in my studies?? wealth??(nah, this is not going to happen on me!!) or can i choose all of them? (this would be great!)
... this questions was on my mind last night... and i thought about it for one whole night (so, last night was actually another sleepless night for me... feel a little sleepy now... haha ) ...
... at last, i finally figured out the answer for this question...
... what i want is.... TO ENJOY MY LIFE!!! and have all my dreams come true!!!
... this is my birthday wish... so hopefully it will really comes true!!!
... HAPPY 17 TO ME!!!

and the journey begins...

16th july 2007......
the time has finally come......
and the journey begins......