keep laughing, just keep on laughing...

... i laughed quite a lot two days ago, maybe too much i think...
... i kept on laughing, even forcing myself to laugh out, i don't want to stop laughing, because i know if i ever stop laughing, my tears will be flowing out non-stop...
... that was such a humiliation... i feel so humiliated and embarassed, until i felt like running back home that night itself...
... i just couldn't imagine this happened... that was really the last thing i would want to see it happen, really...
... when i heard it, i really felt like crying, i feel so embarassed and humiliated...
... why does this happen on me? of all the people on earth, why is it me? i don't know how am i going to face this problem... act like nothing happened seems like a good resolution, but for how long i'll have to do this? i don't know...
... am i angry of them? no i'm not, and i'm very sure of this... i don't blame them, i just don't want them to talk of it again... please, leave me alone, get me out of this... let's have it ended here...
... i plead you all, leave me alone, please... don't take my last bit of pride off me, leave me at least a small bit... i can't take anymore of these... so please, stop all these, please...