sky_blue16790

a new chapter of life...

2008-08-26T02:50:00.000-07:00

... a new chapter of life ...
... a whole new place to live ...
... to know how i adapt in JOGJA ...
... please kindly visit keanseng16790.wordpress.com ...

... 18 ...

2008-07-29T09:50:00.000-07:00

... 18 days left ...
... and then i'll be in another country, at another corner of the world ...
... pursuing my dreams ...
... starting off another new life ...
... leaving all my fellow friends here, of course i feel sad ...
... of course i want to be with them, sharing life ...
... but then, it's my dream ...
... i have to move on with my own life ...
... so i'll leave ...
... i'll stay strong and tough there ...
... not losing my laughs and smiles ...
... i'll miss you guys ...
... and you guys make me strong enough to overcome loneliness ...
... i will be fine ...
... so need not worry about me ...
... we'll meet again, sooner or later ...
... we'll meet, again ...
... 18 days more ...
... 18 days more ...
... bon voyage, to me ...

... critical thinking ...

2008-07-24T07:43:00.000-07:00

... what should i do now? what should i do? ...
... this is what a lot of people will think at the very first second when they face serious trouble or be in great danger ...
... i admit i may be one of them, too ...
... why am i mentioning about this critical thinking thing? ...
... today, 6 houses nearby my house got on fire, thank god they didn't get burn down to ashes ...
... and the houses are just 1 minute walk from my house ...
... imagine how near that is ...
... luckily the wind blew to another side, bringing the flame not to the direction of my house ...
... if not ...
... when i got back home after "offering my concern" with my neighbours, (i know i'm getting auntie-ish nowadays... sigh... ) i started thinking about this critical thinking ...
... many people get panicked when they get into serious danger or trouble ...
... just take the fire as an example, what will you think of saving at the first place? ...
... many people will say "of course your documents!" ...
... yes, it is ...
... but will you be calm enough to even think of taking your documents with you? ...
... or you just run out of the house without saving anything? ...
... according to my mum, one of her friend actually chose to save her marriage photo instead of any other thing ... lolz ...
... laugh, you may, but are you sure that you won't be saving anything similar when you are in that particular situation? ...
... and so i asked this to myself ...
... what would i choose to save? ...
... the first thing of course would be my most-important-of-all IC and other personal documents ... and also my family's ... lolz ...
... then the next thing would be my valuables ...
... what are my valuables? ...
... money, of course, i won't let them get burnt down to ashes ...
... and my laptop, i won't let it burnt in the fire, I JUST BOUGHT IT LAST WEEK! HOW COULD I LET MY 2000 BUCKS BURNT DOWN TO ASHES?! ...
... next, my CDs ... i know it's not important, but hello, they costed my alot ...
... and then my clothes, my books, etc haha ...
... i think there won't be enough time for me to save all these ...
... or if there is time, the fire is not big enough, so no worries ... lolz ...

... odd against all ...

2008-07-22T09:07:00.000-07:00

... all in sudden i think i'm in great danger ...
... those i trusted before seem not worth to be trusted anymore ...
... i didn't know they can get that close ...
... they know i never liked those people, they know it ...
... but those people don't know about it, at least i think they don't know about it ...
... but now, they get so close ...
... then maybe what i told them have been said to those people ...
... now i'm like an island in the middle of the sea, standing against all the sharks swimming around me ...
... great danger it is ...
... i don't know if my secrets are safe with them, let's just pray that they have at least a little bit of morale ...
... or i should just care less about them ...
... like ... what's wrong with them knowing my secrets? ...
... no big deal?! i don't care! ...
... oh no, it IS a big deal if they ever get to know ...
... at this moment, i'm the odd, against them all ...
... so anyone, lend a helping hand please ...

... who to believe? ...

2008-07-22T08:50:00.000-07:00

... in our lives, everyone has their own secrets, everyone has their own plans to come out with ...
... we live on with these secrets and plots ...
... telling gossips, stabbing people's backs seem to be one of the way to keep our survival in our own circle of life nowadays ...
... we tell gossips about others, stabbing people's backs ...
... then we get gossips about others, we gain the information we want ...
... is this right? ...
... there's no safety to tell any other people any secrets today, because even your closest friend could stab you at your very own back ...
... and getting cheated by a close friends hurts 100 times more than losing to someone you hated ...
... but now, who to believe? ...
... if there's no one to be trusted, then who to believe? ...
... who is there to share your deepest feeling when you seriously need to tell someone how you actually feel? ...
... there's always a big bunch of so-called-friends out there to listen to you, so that they can share it to even more people ...
... sharing is caring xoxo ...
... so think carefully before you even say anything bad about other people, or before you tell anyone your secrets ...
... because the traitor may be beside you all these whiles ...

... happy birthday to me, again ...

2008-07-17T09:07:00.001-07:00

... for the past few years i have been doing this ...
... happy birthday to me ...
... happy birthday to me ...
... happy birthday to me ...
... happy birthday to me ...
... can't believe that i have to do this again ...
... in this year, this very important year for me ...
... it's my 18th birthday ...
... it's my last birthday before flying to a land where i'm not really sure if there's any secret recipe or even baker's cottage ...
... before 12, birthday messages have been arriving, so many msn windows that i couldn't read all at a time ...
... adding to it, phone calls ...
... but, thank you people, really, thank you for what you all have done for me ...
... i appreciate it very very very much ...
... but still, there's still something missing which i can't tell, because me myself just can't figure out what that is either ...
... but yes, still, there's something missing, and i can feel it really much ...
... that makes me a little sad and down in the very first hour of my birthday ...
... then the day passed just like that ...
... yes, i'm sure that there's a "what?!" thought now in your mind ...
... that's what i'm thinking ...
... but still, what happened was what had really happened ...
... the day had passed just like that, JUST LIKE THAT ...
... i'm not expecting much, but please, at least make me feel good on my very own birthday ...
... sorry to say that i don't feel really happy and excited on my birthday this year, as i said, something is missing, and that thing is important as it is ...
... the electricity went "off" in the middle of the night, a heavy downpour in the morning, 3 pieces of biscuits, it's Jacob's, for breakfast, plus an apple, instant noodles for lunch, thank GOD it was korean instant noodles, HAHAHA, and then, no cake, no birthday cake because i refused to buy any cake from the cakehouse out there since their cakes are ridiculously sweet and oily and NOT LIKELY TO EVEN BE SWALLOWED INTO MY MOUTH!!! ...
... so, what do you think? ...
... how could i not feel down as i'm going through this MISERABLE UNEXPECTEDLY BAD LEGAL AND SWEET IF IT MAY 18TH BIRTHDAY!!! ...
... alright end of story ...
... i'm not writing those things anymore ...
... before the clock ticks at 12 again to end my very very very PRECIOUS 18th birthday, i shall sing it once again ...
... happy birthday to me ...

... the future us ...

2008-07-14T08:46:00.000-07:00

... remember we were such good friends during childhood time ...
... went to tuition classes together, played together ...
... we were such good friends, not even to care when people gossipping about we two like puppy lovers ...
... i really didn't care much about it, because i do like you ...
... or let's say like this, i do want to be with you ...
... then we went running into different paths ...
... studying in different grades really did expose us to new environments ...
... the environment without each other ...
... we still kept in touch, but not that close anymore ...
... but still, i do like you, and i still want to be with you ...
... until i got to know you and him ...
... you didn't know i was just three seats behind the both of you on the bus back ...
... and of course, you didn't know that my heart was really broken into pieces that time ...
... really into pieces, into tiny pieces ...
... i didn't drop any tears, after a long time until when i looked back into my past and realised that i really like you ...
... but now, finally, finally i let it go ...
... i let the feelings go by themselves ...
... what will happen in the future we won't know ...
... so let's just see if anything happens ...
... but still, i think i do like you ...

... about her ...

2008-07-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

... reading her recent blog post revealed me the hidden truth of them ...
... it was not a break-up due to religions and races ...
... it was not about the objection from the parents ...
... it was, after all, back to the very basic, they are not from the same world ...
... but why? she should have known that both of them possess different characteristics ...
... she should have been informed that he had a girlfriend before, and at the same time seeing other girls ...
... but why, why was she still in love with him? ...
... she told me it was not love ...
... love blinds, well, maybe for her, she was temporarily blind during that time ...
... a little more than one month they were together ...
... but there was no sweet feeling coming out from them ...
... i had never seen them walking together in the evening ...
... their dates were simply a supper of roti canai late at night ...
... then sms and calls ...
... nothing more than that i guess ...
... now they broke up for a long time ...
... so i think maybe there should be some confessions to be made ...
... people, don't think too much! it's not what you think ...
... suddenly after the gathering i realised that my blog is actually getting some attention from my friends ...
... so don't worry, i'm not confessing any love here ...
... make it clear, I AM NOT ...
... it's just that i need to tell her that ...
... i knew why he went after her ...
... i knew that he is a flirt ...
... i knew that his friends are far more important than his girlfriend, maybe girlfriends ...
... i knew that he won't give all his heart to her ...
... but i didn't tell her ...
... i knew i shouldn't tell her, it will only spoil their relationship ...
... but i never knew that she was not happy with him ...
... i never knew that i should have told her all these ...
... so now i'm telling ...
... forget the past ...
... forget the unhappiness he gave you ...
... and go for the others ...
... there are still plenty of guys out there ...
... maybe there is one near you and you never realised ...

... i was not there ...

2008-07-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

... i was not there, so now you all are really good friends, and i'm not in the ring ...
... i was not there, so now you all have made up a secret garden of yourselves, and i'm not allowed to be in there ...
... i was not there, so now you all share the keys to your hearts and secrets, and i'm not getting even a visitor pass to get through the security ...
... i was not there, so now you all live together inside a small wonderful utopia you all have created, and i'm not getting a tiny little glimpse of it, never to mention even a chance for me to take a 5 seconds tour in it ...
... i was not there, so now you all are closely connected to each other, and i'm just one of those you say hello-how are you-doing fine?-oh so nice-i'm doing all fine here-hope to see you again-we must meet up!-i'll miss you much-goodbye and then never put me on your mind type of friend, and a funny me still hoping that we can actually become better, how funny am i ...
... i was not there, so now you all will live on together till years years later, and what about me? i'll be just a friend acting as a by-stander in your journeys of life ...
... just because i was not there, i don't get the key to your lives and stories ...
... just because i was not there, i'm blocked by a wall and will never get to see the inside of your hearts, to know how you actually feel ...
... just because i was not there, i'm pushed away from you all, like an outsider trying to intrude the very own world of you all ...
... just because i was not there, JUST BECAUSE I WAS NOT THERE ...
... why was i not there ... ... ...
... why was i not there ... ... ...
... i opened my heart but not getting what i needed, just because i was not there ...
... i did whatever i can but not getting the pass into the world, just because i was not there ...
... i spent my time with you all and shared my stories of life with you all but what you all did was turning away from me after listening to it, not giving me a small little share of your cakes of life, just because i was not there ...
... just because i was not there, just because I WAS NOT THERE IN THAT PLACE DURING THAT TIME WITH YOU ALL AND I'M GETTING ALL THESE! ...
... fine then ...
... since i was not there, then i won't be there ...
... what would it turn out to be? you all won't be getting a slight glimpse of it either ...
... what would my life be? wait, but you all won't be listening to any stories from me ...
... what would my future life be? i'll live on, leaving you all behind and move on in my own way ...
... since i was not there, then i won't be there ...
... since i was not there, so i won't be there ...

... my friends, my family ...

2008-07-13T08:32:00.001-07:00

... leaving them so soon, i just couldn't imagine the life without them ...
... studying in the same school, same class ...
... for at least 365 times two days, some even more ...
... the bond between all of us is not just a simple bond of friendship ...
... we are a family, at least i do think so ...
... we shared joy and laughters ...
... we get scolded together, but feeling nothing and kept on cracking jokes right after the classes ...
... we do things as a team, despite some quarrels and disagreements time to time ...
... but all that doesn't affect, we are still a family ...
... left the classroom for more than one year now ...
... it's great to see all of us still remained in contact ...
... our bond has not been broken by new life and new friends ...
... it's never been easy to keep it like this, i know ...
... and i truly appreciate this bond between all of us, really ...
... thank you for being with me all along these years ...
... thank you 5S1 2006 ...
... all of you, are my family ...
... my friends, and my family ...

... smoky mountain memories ...

2008-06-30T07:51:00.000-07:00

... You ought to go north somebody told us ...
... Cause the air is filled with gold dust ...
... And fortune falls like snow flakes in your hands ...
... Now I don't recall who said it ...
... But we'd lived so long on credit ...
... And so we headed out to find our promised land ...
... Just poor Smoky Mountains farm folk ...
... With nothing more than high hopes ...
... So we hitched our station wagon to a star ...
... But our dreams all fell in on us ...
... Cause there was no land of promise ...
... Though it's a stuggle just keepin' sight of who you are ...
... Oh and these northern nights are dreary ...
... And my southern heart is weary ...
... As I wonder how the old folks are back home ...
... But I know that they all love me ...
... And they're all thinking of me ...
... The Smoky Mountains memories keep me strong ...
... You know I've been thinkin' a whole lot lately ...
... About what's been and what awaits me ...
... It takes all I've got to give what life demands ...
... You go insane if you give in to it ...
... Life's a mill and I've been through it ...
... I'm just thankful I'm creative with my hands ...
... Oh and these northern nights they're dreary ...
... And my southern eyes are teary ...
... As I wonder how the old folks are back home ...
... But I'll keep leanin' on my Jesus ...
... He'll love and guide and lead us ...
... The Smoky Mountains memories keep me strong ...
... If I'll keep looking to the father ...
... Keep our heads above the water ...
... While the Smoky Mountains memories keep me strong ...

... we could have been better ...

2008-06-26T08:55:00.001-07:00

... we could have been better friends, if i hadn't leave you behind ...
... we could have been better friends, if i had kept in touch with you all the time ...
... we could have been better friends, if i had shared with you more of my life ...
... we could have been better friends, if i had picked up my phone and called you once or twice ...
... we could have been better friends, if i had sent you a message asking you "are you doing fine? " ...
... we could have been better friends, if i had done all these ...
... but i hadn't ...
... i hadn't been calling you because i got so busy with my new life ...
... i hadn't been messaging you because i got the feeling that you might be busy at time ...
... i hadn't been sharing with you more of my life just because i thought ...
... because i thought you might not even want to listen ...
... because i thought you might have found friends better than me ...
... but i was wrong ...
... until this very moment, you are still a best friend of mine, and you will still be, to the very end of my life ...
... i really don't want to lose you ...
... even though i'm losing you bits by bits ...
... so long, my friend ...
... may we become as how we used to be before ...
... friendship forever for you, if you wish ...

what if ...

2008-06-23T07:10:00.000-07:00

... standing here, i look back, at the path i have taken this far ...
... no regrets, but what if ...
... what if i chose another pathway before this? ...
... what would i be then? ...
... will i still the same me now? ...
... what if ...
... what if i chose to stay in my small town instead of going Kwang Hua? ...
... then i wouldn't have known so many people, so many people i love and care so much ...
... then i wouldn't have learnt so many things which mould me into who i am today ...
... what if i didn't accept the scholarship? ...
... then maybe my life will still be the same, lingering with same bunch of friends from Kwang Hua in Form 6 ...
... then my life would have been easier, there is no need to travel two hours in a crowded KTM almost every week ...
... what if i didn't choose medicine as my future career? ...
... then maybe i'll still be in dilemma of choosing my pathway in the future ...
... what if i didn't get to know all these friends i love? ...
... then my life would have been so empty and dull that i would have been a studyworm instead ...
... what if i hadn't create all those memories i cherish so much until now? ...
... then maybe i will have less tears and laughs, but i will have nothing much to look back at this moment either ...
... what if ... what if ...
... if i had chosen the other way, i wouldn't be the one i am today ...
... because i chose to go Kwang Hua for 5 years, i got to know all these people i love so much that i will miss them all my life ...
... because i chose medicine as my future career, i learnt so many things that i wouldn't have experienced in Form 6 ...
... because of what i decided and chose yesterday, here i stand today, the one who i am ...
... people change, maybe i will too, in the coming future ...
... who knows? what if ... what if i change? ...
... but, but i'll never forget, forget all these years i have been through ...
... all these memories i cherish ...
... will make me stronger tomorrow ...
... all the love and care i see, will be my strength to overcome any obstacles in the future ...
... but, but what if ... what if i forget all these? ...
... then all of you will remind me of all these ...
... standing here, i look up at the night sky ...
... yes, i am ready for whatever upnext ...
... with all the great memories of the past i carry ...
... i proceed on with strength and courage ...

... shannie ...

2008-06-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

... this post is specially for you ...
... my best friend ...
... knowing you for 6 years, it's really my honour to know you in person ...
... i guess we have not been talking really much after secondary school ...
... starting off a new life is always not an easy task ...
... we parted to live our lives, live our own dreams ...
... but shall it always be intersections in our lives ...
... now in one month you're leaving ...
... to the land of kangaroos and koalas ...
... may our friendship last through the distances ...
... may our friendship stay strong till the end ...
... shannie ...
... stay strong ...
... laugh when you feel happy ...
... but don't hesitate to cry if you feel the need to cry it off ...
... just remember to wipe your tears after that, and live on with smiles ...
... the smile you've been putting on all these years ...
... the smile which you have affected me all these while ...
... shannie ...
... look at the night sky when you feel alone and lost and needed ...
... because you have all of us looking at the same sky and cheering for you ...
... even when we are half a world away ...
... shannie ...
... remember, you have us, and we have you ...
... i'll be missing you ...
... and for sure, our friendship won't fade away with distance ...
... good luck and be yourself in your future undertakings ...
... you'll have us with you all the time ...
... take care ...

... i'll miss them ...

2008-06-22T09:34:00.000-07:00

... over 300 days together, day and night ...
... we shared our lives, no matter sorrow or joy ...
... we had our own sweet and nice memories ...
... we created memories of our own ...
... even in this place of isolation ...
... we managed to have fun of our own ...
... had our laughs and cheers ...
... even though in other people's eyes we are just weirdos doing silly things ...
... we were having fun, so? ...
... we were having a blast, so? ...
... have your own fun and live on, don't be jealous because you were not invited into the group ...
... and now i leave ...
... i thought i'd be glad to leave the place forever ...
... but at my very last night there ...
... there was a surge of emptiness ...
... something is pulling me back ...
... i think it was all my friends there ...
... the life we all shared there ...
... so now i leave ...
... with all the memories i carry ...
... sounds and images i will not leave any ...
... sounds of jokes and singings and pingpong and poker cards ...
... images of all my friends and my gang and my "family" ...
... i'll live on with all these memories you all gave me ...
... so, promise me, you all will live on well ...
... and me too, i promise all of you ...
... i will never ever ever forget anyone of you ...
... because guys, i miss all of you ...
... all of you ...
... i miss all of you ...
... and i will, in the future ...
... cherish all our memories ...
... and shall we meet in our futures ...

Kwang Hua Prefectorial Board Annual Gathering ...

2008-05-04T20:18:00.000-07:00

... 3rd of May 2008, i stepped into Kwang Hua again, after leaving for more than one year ...
... this time, as an ex-prefect, i was invited back to attend Prefectorial Board's Annual Gathering ...
... the moment i got the invitation card last week via mail, i felt really happy ... i think this will probably be my last appearance in the annual prefect gathering event, since i'll be in Indonesia this coming August ...
... when i stepped into school, i saw juniors ( i think they are form 1 or form 2 juniors :p ) making two lines along the entrance ... then, all in sudden, one of them instructed "one, two ..." 'oh my gosh, what are they planning to do?!' spontaneously i ran away to a side, and guess what they did? they actually shouted "GOOD MORNING, SENIOR!!!" ... how cute, haha! ... hearing people calling me "senior" after two years was actually quite weird, but i'm really happy to hear that ... it's like going back to my secondary school life ...
... then i slowly walked up to the hall, where the event was held ... i registered myself, then chatted with my fellow friends, whom i have never seen for such a long time ... it's really nice to see them again ...
... the event started at about 8.45a.m. ... hmm ... not punctual, but it's alright ... after the opening, the screen covering the stage was pulled apart, and for the first time, i saw the stage decorations ... and oh before i forgot, the juniors actually "made" a small tunnel hung with stars ... it's dark in the pathway, and the stars become shiny due to the fluorescent light along the pathway ... nice work and good creativity ... and also the stage decorations, it was okay for me ... quite nice actually, if not for the cellotape that was too much to be visible even from down the stage ... but nevermind, still okay i would consider ...
... the event started off as usual, with the speeches of the president of this event and also Mr.Gan, the principal ... and here comes the first big surprise of the day ... Mr.Gan was actually wearing a KRS officer's uniform!! ... and sorry to say that it actually made him like President Mao, haha ...
... up next was the only performance of the day, a drama which put in all usual performances ... dances, singing, chinese yoyo performance, sketch et ctera ... according to them, it was to match the event's theme --- fusion ... i understand, but the performances was really boring and sorry to say that, terrible, except for the chinese yoyo performance and modern dance performed by Julian and another 3 prefects ...
... after having some food, the event continued at about 12p.m. , for the games session ... and i was totally disappointed ... unorganised, chaotic, and everything really went "upside down" ... terrible ...
... and so i left at about 1.15p.m. ...
... in a nutshell, i feel happy and honoured for being invited again to attend the annual gathering ... it's really great to be able to meet my old friends and revisit the school once again ... i really miss the times when i was still in the school ... looking at the juniors was just like looking at myself when i was still studying there ...
... this year's event was just okay for me, but still thanks for inviting me ... i still enjoyed it, despite some disappointment, haha ... do it better next year then ...

i'm back, again...

2008-04-30T08:57:00.000-07:00

... yes, after one whole month ( or more, maybe... ) of disappearance, i'm back now, again ...
... i guess i have deserted here for too long, so now i think i shall update some latest happenings in my life ...
... well, after taking my university entrance exam, i had no time to shake legs as pre-A2 is JUST around the corner ... had to revise all over again ... then, as usual, normal college life, normal study-eat-sleep-chat-play and study again life ... i guess my life is just as normal and as boring as everyone else :p ...
... and after one week of pre-A2 examinations, it's time for the release of the UGM entrance exam results ... great, after one whole month of waiting, it's finally released on 29th April 2008 ... ( hey, it's really ONE WHOLE MONTH from the test date! :p ) ... surprisingly ( to both JPA officers and all of us ), only 36 of 89 people here got through the examinations ... however, 12 students got a second chance and will have to go for interview session conducted on 16th of May ... good luck to all of them ...
... so now, actually i feel both happy and sad ... how complicated ... happy, of course because i got accepted to UGM ... yeah, everyone else felt the same ... sad, because i'll have to leave this land really soon ... i think i'm going to miss my friends here alot, really alot ... i wish i could give all of them a big big hug before i leave in mid-august ...
... i guess that's a brief summary of my life during my "disappearance period" ... will update more next time ... i promise i'll try to write more, alright hippo? :p ...

i live my life, and i shall walk my way...

2008-03-09T23:40:00.000-07:00

... our lives we live only for once... any chances we missed out may turn out to be our regrets for the whole life...
... we may make others happy by choosing the way they've chosen for us ... but does that mean we will also be happy? ... it may, or it may not be so ... most of the time we experience the latter ...
... it's our lives, shouldn't we live our way? ... others advices may be useful and good, but if we don't feel happy with that, why should we take the advice? ...
... changes take place in our daily lives without us realising them ... when we finally realise that something has changed, most of the time it has changed forever,and also, irreversible ...
... live our lives, walk our own way ... shouldn't it be so? ...
... be ourselves, and be happy with what we chose ... never blame others after we have chosen our path, because we made the choice ourselves, and no ne else did ...
... i'm happy right now, with what i chose, with what i've been through ...
... i live my life, and i walk my way ...
... will my journey of life be a walk to remember? yes it will, only if i enjoy it to the fullest, from now on, and till the end of the journey ...

life continues ...

2008-03-01T06:23:00.000-08:00

... it's 1st of March already ...
... 3 more months before i leave KTT ...
... 5 more months before i fly off to Indonesia ...
... time really flies, and i didn't notice that it passed by this fast ...
... i glanced back at my past ...
... and life continues ...
... i moved a step forward again ...
... because life still goes on ...
... and life continues ...

Chinese New Year Gala Night in KTT

2008-02-23T07:21:00.000-08:00

... and so the day had come, at last, the first time Chinese New Year celebration Gala Night in KTT ...
... after we come back from our holidays, everyone started doing their parts in preparing for this night ... from programme planning to souvenirs to food, everyone is doing their part in making this night a blast! ...
... i was in the souvenir group, but since we had actually settled all the souvenirs and presents during the long long holidays, i had nothing to do in the first day ... maybe i'm too busybody, or i just want to be more involved in the event, i started helping out the coordinator, Fui Bee ... poor girl, she was the only one coordinating the event, so i think i should be helping her as much as i could, since i had experiences in organising this kind of events ... so preparation work started ...
... eventually i took charge of the sketch performance, not as an actor, but just to guide them ... in the end, i think i didn't help much, but they have made it, they worked it out ... i'm proud of the whole cast, thanks to them and sorry for my endless comments on their performance ... i just want the whole performance to go smoother ...
... and the night had finally arrived ... on Friday afternoon, we started decorating the hall and arranging the tables for dinner ... then around 6p.m., i changed my clothes and went down to finish up what was left undone ...
... after that, i helped the food department in their jobs, and that was quite fun ...
... but at the same time i had to look after the whole rundown, so actually throughout the event i was running here and there with Fui Bee like two crazy people ... luckily the event went smoothly and no big mistakes made ... phew ...
... i'm happy that the night became a success ... after the whole event, all of us felt so relieved and camwhore session began ... i can feel that everyone was happy ...
... from this event, i get to know some my best friends in college even better, and also, get to know some chinese i don't even talked to before ... it's great to work with them all ... i feel proud to have the chance to work with them and offer my help ... so glad that i can actually contribute something ...
... this Chinese New Year Gala Night will definitely become one of the memories which i will cherish forever ... love you guys ... i won't forget the fun we had that night ... 22nd of February 2008, a date which i'll never forget ...

end of holidays, and life still goes on ...

2008-02-16T08:33:00.000-08:00

... 17th of February 2008, with that i officially announce that today, is the last day of my Chinese New Year holidays, and about 21 hours later, i shall be back again in my small room in my small hostel apartment with my ironed clothes waiting to be hanged on and washed blanket and bedsheets on my mattress ... life starts and goes on again ...
... my long long holidays for Chinese New Year this year started from 30th of January, the day my mid-semester 2 examinations ended ... and i started enjoying since that day, despite suffering for a few days when i fell really sick in the last couple of days ... but, good things come for a price to pay you know ... THERE WILL BE NO MORE HOLIDAYS THEN UNTIL I FINISH MY COURSE!!!! HEYY, NO MORE HOLIDAYS!!!!!! ... always feel so miserable when i think of this ... but i think i'll get through all these ... yes i will, and i must ...
... but if you want me to describe my holidays, i'll come out with : empty, expected and ... enjoyable i guess? ... empty, because i think i just passed my days doing nothing at home ... no self-improvement stuffs, just ONE outing with friends, no movies on the list watched ( gee... can't believe i actually missed Sweeney Todd... ) , Chinese New Year passed with no interesting activities ... just empty ... furthermore, i didn't take up my driving lessons as planned ... and now everyone is urging me to do that when my IELTS examination is drawing near, just around the corner ... HEY IT'S IN TWO WEEKS TIME DEAR! HOW AM I GOING TO TAKE UP DRIVING LESSONS LIKE THIS?? JUST ONE "CERAMAH" TAKES ME ONE WHOLE DAY!!! ... so maybe this plan will be extended again ... for expected, i really enjoyed my holidays as expected ... enjoyed in the sense of doing nothing except housechores and listening to the adults chatting non-stop during the new year ... expected all these to happen, so what can i do except enjoy what are expected to happen??? i had no choice ... saying about enjoyable, maybe i really had enjoyed myself during this long holidays ... i hope i had, but why don't i feel excited at all??? ... probably my nerves are getting numb to all these ... sigh ...
... now all these are coming to the end ... the end of my holidays ... i have to go back to that two rows of shophouses with apartments on top, lecture halls at the ground floors, living my empty and no life's college life, eating those oily and fatty and unhealthy food prepared by the cafe, sleeping on the bed that will make sounds, cracking sounds everytime i turned myself to another side at night ... i really wished if my holidays can last longer ...
... but life has to go on ... in fact, it never stops ... so we just have to move on ... i just have to move on ... time still flies, and the time for me to fly "overstraits" draws near again ... i guess i just have to get used to it again and again each time i come back for holidays ... sigh ... but still, life goes on, and it goes on and on like a neverending journey, and i am the traveler ...
... end of my holidays i shall say, but life, still goes on ...

review: The Kite Runner

2008-02-15T06:48:00.001-08:00

... i'm so glad that actually becomes the first book i'll be writing about in my first attempt of book review, because i just love this book so much... no exaggarating, seriously, this novel is worth reading... fascinating ...
... the story started in 1970s, in Afghanistan, Kabul, where the two children, Amir and Hassan, had their best years of childhood ... Amir, the son of a successful merchant, was very close with the son of his servant, Hassan... " people feeding from the same breast have a kind of brotherhood between them," that was what Ali, the servant told Amir on their friendship... Hassan is always loyal and faithful to Amir, and he still is till the end of his life, years later... "For you, a thousand times over" was what Hassan said to Amir... together, they spent the most precious and beautiful times of their childhood... they stayed very close, even though in Amir's heart, he wasn't sure if he WOULD consider Hassan as his friend, as they come from different status, different class of people... Hassan is a Hazara, the clan i think which is looked down on at that time in Afghanistan ...
... and changes came and had their lives changed, their friendship changed... war, sin and betrayal all led them to different lives, different future... after a kite tournament, which Amir and Hassan actually won, Amir witnessed Hassan get raped, by the boys who used to bully them, when he ran for the last kite... Hassan sacrificed himself for the kite he would never give on to the bullies, and Amir didn't stand up for him... he ran away, cowardly ... feeling guilty and sinful, he started to avoid Hassan... innocent Hassan tried to get to him, but he just kept on avoiding... Amir even blamed Hassan for stealing his watch, and Hassan the loyal servant took the blame... but at the same time, Ali and Hassan moved out of the house, knowing that their little master would not want to see them there anymore...
... and then war exploded in Afghanistan, and Amir escaped to USA with his father, starting of a new life there, getting a good career and marry a good wife...
... it was twenty six years later when Rahim Khan, Amir's Baba best friend, called from Pakistan, asking Amir to go there... "there's always a way to be good again..." he told on the phone before hanging up... after reaching there, Amir was shocked as the truth unveils in front of him... Hassan, is actually his half brother!... ( true, i was shocked when i read about this) and he got killed by the Taliban when he was trying to protect their old mansion from the Taliban... now, Rahim Khan asked Amir to go rescue his son, Sohrab from Afghanistan... trying to redeem his sins and lies, he went on the journey... in the end, he managed to save out Sohrab, and adopted him... the story ended with Sohrab brought to USA with Amir, and the barrier between them finally began to break down...
... this novel is really touching for me... the friendship and faith Hassan had in Amir, how loyal he is, and how he is willing to go all out for his Amir agha... i got touched by that friendship... and the stroryline is really interesting, despite focussing on the friendship of Amir and Hassan, it actually reveals the way Afghanis had lived for the past 40 years, from monarchy to the shorawis to Taliban... and their ways of looking at life, how they take life...
... i love this novel so much , and it really worth reading, believe me...
... read yourself, get yourself in the situation, and you'll be touched...
... truly great work of literature...
... looking forward on the movie, coming out soon in April ...
... let the kites fly in our skies, run for the kites, run for the love, the friendship we appreciate, the people we seriously care...
... run to them, don't let regrets fill your life after they've gone ...
... run to them ...

Happy New Year...

2008-01-02T19:43:00.000-08:00

... time really flies ...
... 2007 has becomed history, and now, it's already 2008 ...
... Happy New Year ...

such a failure ...

2007-12-13T20:18:00.000-08:00

... yesterday was Thursday, the day which we'll have practical class for Biology in the afternoon ...
... the class was on, and the experiment we were going to perform is about the respiration of germinating beans and crickets ... i've been looking forward to this for such a long time, and i was pretty sure that i could perform the experiment well ... well, based on the practical manual, the experiment is not hard to be constructed, so i had confidence in myself that i can do well ...
... and so i went to the biology lab full with confidence and all ...
... and my practical started off really smooth indeed ... grabbed all the apparatus i need, then i caught a cricket in the container provided ... well, it's just a cricket, nothing to be afraid of ... satisfied with my performance so far ...
... then i arranged my apparatus and started constructing the experiment ... yes, my cricket is still alive ... so far so good ...
... things started to go completely wrong then ... i waited and waited, but the coloured dye just didn't move ... IT'S SUPPOSED TO MOVE IN A FEW MINUTES' TIME!!! is my cricket dead or it is NOT BREATHING?! i checked on my cricket in the tube ... no, it's still alive! then what's wrong?? confused, i repeated the experiment again ... and the results i got was still the same ...
... not believing what happened, i asked for my lecturer's help ... and what she could tell was that i've arranged my apparatus wrongly ... alright then, then i did the experiment again, but this time with two crickets ... and FINALLY it worked!! ...
... getting excited again, i tried on the experiment with three crickets ... but again,the experiment didn't work out ... i just couldn't believe it ... all my classmates had finished most of the experiments!! i was the only one left!!! NOOO!!! why am i such a failure in this? that was really frustrating ...
... so i repeated the experiment again and again, but what i got was just failures and failures ... i couldn't take it anymore ... so i skipped the experiment and moved on to the one with germinating beans ... and BELIEVE IT OR NOT?! I FAILED THAT EXPERIMENT EITHER!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! i felt like crying ... i was tired of all these!! why can't i finish my practical?? ...
... at last, i gave up my experiment, as there was no time left, and my lecturer had to leave ... what can i do? what else can i do about this? ... oh, i only wished if my next practical will go as smooth as possible ... please ...

of honey and clover ...

2007-12-10T00:03:00.000-08:00

... at last, i've finished watching HONEY AND CLOVER 2 , my favourite anime series ...
... just as what i've told before, the second season of the anime is much more emotional compared to the first season and has shedded more tears then before ... the story still evolves between Takemoto, Morita, Hagu, Mayama and Yamada, the five good friends ...
... in this season, the love triangle between Hagu, Takemoto and Morita is finally solved ... to my surprise, neither Takemoto nor Morita gets together with Hagumi in the end ... although she loves Morita, Hagu still chose to be with Shuuji for the rest of her life ... yeah, maybe love counts all for some people, but for some, the purpose of life is more important ... Hagu's life is motivated by Shuuji, the only person who can encourage her and sacrifice every single thing just for her ...
... in the end, all of them are separated ... that makes me so sad ... it reminds me of all of us, who are studying at different places ... sooner or later, we'll all be in different countries, living different lives and meet different people ... but still, i believe that each and everyone of us will cherish our friendship no matter where we are ... just like what Takemoto said in the end of the anime, " those miraculous days, you and i, and all of us, being together and searching for just that one thing, those days are bittersweet memories of my life ... " ... yes, i will remember those days when we were all together, going through lives hand by hand, and all those bittersweet memories we made together, shall i keep and cherish for the rest of my life ...
... HONEY AND CLOVER 2, the one anime i will always remember ... great anime ...

things will never be the same again ...

2007-12-07T06:53:00.000-08:00

... losing it ...
... i'm losing the friendships i've been trying to make all these whiles ...
... i've lost my trust and faith and confidence in them ...
... i just couldn't open my heart to them anymore ...
... what should i do? ...
... what should i do when my friends are not to be trusted anymore? ...
... what should i do when my friends are likely to be stabbing my back? ...
... what should i do with these friends? ...
... what should i do with the friendships i've made? ...
... or make it like this ...
... what will you do if you're in my shoes? ...
... i just can't think of it anymore ...
... it's just so scary when you found out that your fellow friends whom you share your thoughts with them are actually doing something else behind you ...
... they cannot be trusted anymore ...
... should i just avoid them and let the friendships get weaker and weaker? ...
... or should i just keep my mouth shut and act like nothing happened, even that i've found out what they did? ...
... this is so hard ...
... i can't share my thoughts anymore with them ...
... i can't open my heart anymore with them ...
... maybe they are still my friends ...
... but things will never be the same again ...
... it will never be the same again ...
... all my thoughts, my feelings, my secrets ...
... will be kept far away from their reach from now on ...
... forever ...

review: Mitch Albom < tuesdays with morrie >

2007-12-07T05:56:00.001-08:00

... these few days i've reading Mitch Albom's , and i actually find it as an interesting, and touching book ...
... it is about the 14 tuesdays the author had with his old professor, Morrie, who was suffering a terminal disease and was about to die, before the death of the professor ...
... after the author graduated from the university, he started to work and work, gaining more and more money, and was aiming to live a better life ... at this time, he got to know about his old professor, Morrie, which was on TV, being interviewed about his life after he knew that he's got ALS, a terminal disease, and only have a few more months of life ... when he knew about this, the author decided to go visit Morrie, the person he promised to keep in touch and will go back to visit him ... apparently, the author has forgotten his promise to the professor, until he saw him again on TV ... i was thinking, maybe we, all of us, have also forgotten some promises we have made in our lives, maybe including some important promises, to us and to the others ...
... the following tuesdays the author and Morrie spent time together, discussing issues which are important and essential in one's life ... emotions, life, death, love, forgiveness and lots more ... i really learn a lot from their conversations, especially from Morrie ... i admire him, no, i adore him ... i adore his calmness and his attitude towards life , and i adore how he could look at life so differently ... and of course, the way he gives his heart for everyone he cares and his ability to laugh and cry when he feels right to do so ... many of us don't laugh or cry even from our own heart, laughing when people are laughing, even if we don't feel funny at all , and refused to cry even when our heart hurt so much...
... Morrie actually got weaker and weaker from day to day, losing his ability to take care of himself ... it's hard to see him getting weaker and weaker and the disease slowly conquers over his body ... that was sad when he actually lost his ability to move his arms and legs ... i can't imagine if i lose all these abilities ...
... <> is indeed a good book to read ... a lot of facts of life to be learnt, if you appreciate the book and enjoy reading it ... me myself have learnt a lot from the book ...

rainy day...

2007-12-05T23:39:00.000-08:00

... it has been raining whole day long ...
... looking out from my apartment's balcony ...
... i can see raindrops falling down to the rooftop of the burger stall downstairs, on the Christmas tree they bought last week, and on the tar road with no car parking in the parking space provided ...
... staring at the two small hills near my college, but only blur images can be seen, as if the heavy rain is a layer of curtain, hiding the real look of the hills ...
... and so i stared at the hills, for a couple of time, when a small bird flew in and stopped on the Christmas tree ...
... the rain is getting heavier ...
... i stretch my hands out from the balcony, trying to get to feel some raindrops , and then my whole head ... in the end my whole head got wet ...
... finally, tears in my eyes flow down along with the raindrops ...
... i cried, at last, i cried ...
... and it is still raining ...

friends? enemy? both.neither...

2007-12-03T20:54:00.000-08:00

... miserable ...
... confused ...
... my heart just shattered when i found out that ...
... friendship can actually be this weak ...
... i just couldn't believe it ...
... or ...
... i just force myself not to believe it ...
... lost my trust and faith in the friendship i've made with made ...
... i'm confused now ...
... are they friends to me? ...
... or i shall consider them as enemies ? ...
... maybe they are both friends and enemies ...
... changing their roles and faces from time to time ...
... chatting and playing together ...
... but stab knives at your back at the same time ...
... or maybe ...
... they are neither friends nor enemies ...
... not enemies, because i don't hate them at all ...
... not friends, because they don't consider me so ...
... i don't know ...
... i couldn't think more about it ...
... friends? enemy? ...
... i've lost my ability to differentiate between them ...
... help me , please ...
... save me, please ...
... tears rolling down my eyes ...

so disappointing...

2007-12-03T20:44:00.000-08:00

... and so my new semester begins ...
... after one week of holidays, i'm back in the college again ...
... still in holiday mood , but what to do? i have to get started with my studies ...
... GO GO KEAN SENG!!! don't mess around anymore, you have to start studying!!! ...
... how great it would be if i have another week of holidays ...
... haha, here i go day-dreaming again ...

review: My Football Summer

2007-12-02T18:22:00.000-08:00

... was the winner of the Best Documentary of the 43th Golden Horse Award ... last Saturday, AEC aired this award-winning documentary, which is all about a group of native children who have a passion in football ...
... the documentary is about a group of lower secondary students in Hua Lian, Taiwan, who loves football and have passion in it ... all of them are members of the school's football team, and all of them are natives too ... the two-hours documentary talks about how hard they worked for the championship and their lives after school ... the team eventually made their way into the final in their last year in the school ... although they didn't win the championship in the end, their spirits in the match is still something to be proud of ... when they are trailing most of the time throughout the match, they didn't give up, but played even better that they actually drew with their opponent team ... they just lost in the penalty kick ...
... i personally admire their hard work and their spirit on their road to the final ... even though they didn't win, the memory they've gained, the friendship they've made are still somthing to be cherished for the rest of their lives ... even the tears they shedded after their lost in the final will be a great memory ... at least they didn't give up till the end of the match ...
... other than that, i really admire the strong friendship they've made in those years ... even after they went to different high schools and joined different football teams, they're still good friends ... this is something that i've always wanted ... ever-lasting best friends ... i know i have them too, and i'm grateful of it ...
... when i was watching the documentary, the memories i had with my besties in Kwang Hua kept on coming into my mind ... watching them, watching how they supported each other was like looking back at another me when i was still in Kwang Hua ...really missed those times when we were still together, playing and studying together, sharing our lives together ...
... the memories the kids had in those years, they will remember and cherish them for the rest of their lives ... something they'll never forget ... so do i ... it was their football summer, the summer of all the loves and fun ... and i had my summer too, with all the friends i love the most ...

True Colors

2007-11-30T09:31:00.000-08:00

... You with the sad eyes...
... Don't be discouraged...
... Oh i realize...
... It's hard to take courage...
... In a world full of people...
... You can lose sight of it all...
... And the darkness inside you...
... Makes you feel so small...

... But i see your true colors...
... Shining through...
... I see your true colors...
... That's why i love you...
... So don't be afraid to let them show...
... Your true colors...
... True colors are beautiful...
... Like a rainbow...

... Show me a smile then, don't be unhappy...
... Can't remember when i last saw you laughing...
... If this world makes you crazy...
... And you've taken as you can bear...
... You call me up...
... Because you know i'll be there...

review: Emi Fujita < camomile plus > ...

2007-11-30T08:48:00.000-08:00

... well, this is my first attempt for music album review ... feeling kind of nervous now, but this album is really recommended, by me myself at least ... so if you trust in my taste, then this album is really recommended ...
... i bought this album two days ago at Popular, Jusco ... i didn't go Popular purposely just to buy this ... i made up my mind to buy it when i heard the songs myself there ... alright, no more exaggarating, the music album i'm going to write about is Emi Fujita's ...
... who's Emi Fujita ? to be frank, i don't know who she is, not even now ... but her voice, her vocal seems to be attracting me to her, very comfortable, very soft ... i wonder if i could hear her singing ... must be very nice ...
... yes, this album is not about pop and rock and hip-hop, all the songs are just as simple as they could be, nothing more than a singer singing her songs... the music instruments used are simple too, mostly guitars and pianos ... the songs recorded in this album are soft music, and mostly oldies ... maybe some people will say these songs as lullabies ...
... talking about the singer, Emi Fujita, i know nothing about her ... it's her vocal that drove me to buy this album ... she definitely has a soft voice, comfortable and nice ... listening to her songs makes me feel calm and comfortable, and all these are just what i needed most right now ... i don't know how to describe these in words, but her songs are like something you should play when you close your eyes and lay on a sofa and enjoy the melodies ...
... the songs, on the other hand, are all nice too ... no noisy drums and hell-like shrieking, just simply singing ... maybe i'm just that kind of people who is into all these genre of music ... who knows? ... <>, <>, <>, , <> and <> are some of the songs i love ... they are just nice ... just nice ...
... listening to this album gave me serene and calm moments, which i needed most at these times ... on the cover of the album, it's written "A special album to all my friends" ... true enough ... this is a special album that i would really want to share with all my friends ...

my precious one week break...

2007-11-29T08:36:00.000-08:00

... after months of non-stop studies and examinations, the long awaited one week semester break had finally come ... everyone took it seriously, since this will be the only semester break for we the one year programme students ... planned where to go, where to shop, and where to gather during the holidays ... seems like a very very well-planned semester break for everyone of us, but how many of them really worked their plans out?? i wonder... for me myself, my whole big plan DID NOT work... how pathetic, i have planned them for so long ...
... i had 12 days of holiday, and the first half of it was spent in my sweet home, despite going out on Sunday to Carrefour, Klang ... not that i didn't have any gatherings or outings with my friends, but in the end i didn't make it to any of them ... so i spent those days at home, with most of the time watching DVDs and dramas ...
... but anyway, i've done some good work too during the holidays ... planned the new design for the living room, bought new furniture for living room, made jelly, and lots more ... (is there anymore? ;p) ...
... only a few days left before i go back to the deadly-like college, so please, please brighten up these coming few days!!! let my semester break ends with a blast!!! it's precious ...

a journey back to the past...

2007-11-28T08:31:00.000-08:00

... today morning, for my JPA documents, i went to Kwang Hua ... actually after that, i was "supposed" to meet friends at Jusco, but everyone couldn't make it, so in the end, i went there all alone... should i be glad of this? or should i not? because of this, i got the chance, another chance to look back into my past, my former life in Kwang Hua... all these just happened to happen today, and i'm grateful to have this chance to feel back the life i had there before, the life which i appreciated so so much...
... stepping into Kwang Hua again after enrolling in KTT made me feel much more refreshed ... " A school SHOULD look like this... a school SHOULD FEEL like this..." i said to myself ... looks like i really miss my life in Kwang Hua in the past few years ... SPM still goes on today, but according to my "observation", it seemed like only arts students were having exams today ... a good opportunity for me to go around the school again, indeed... so after completing my "task" in the office, i went around Block A ( for those who have forgotten, Block A is the building where staffroom is situated) ... things are still the same, but they are also different... i saw my name on the 11As' list , surprisingly... memories in Kwang Hua that i had with my fellow friends reappeared once again in my mind, i think i'll never get to forget them... suddenly, i had a feeling of going back there to study again... funny, isn't it? ...
... after that , i walked to Jusco, all the way from Kwang Hua, just like what i always did last time... it was so hot, like each and everytime i walked myself there... but anyway, it was fun and great for me to experience this again... i guess i don't have many chances to do this anymore ... for seconds i really think that i'm still a student there...
... after going Jusco, i made up my mind to go on another journey... kind of crazy, but i did it before, too, even though only once or twice i think... guess what? i walked back again, from Jusco, to Klang Parade... by the time i reached there, it was almost half past twelve... so i rocketed into McD, had my lunch there and had a short little rest... there i met two of my juniors... what a co-incidence! they should be studying hard for their SPM! after having a really short conversation with them , i headed back home... hey juniors, appreciate your times in Kwang Hua with your besties, you'll miss them alot after leaving Kwang Hua...
... i took bus back from Klang, giving my journey a complete end... taking bus home was what i usually did when i was studying there... after tuitions, after co-curriculum activities, after prefect meetings, after friends outings, after class gatherings... taking bus home was an event which i can never forget... there were lots and lots of memories i had on bus... met people i hadn't met for a long time, met some people who i'll never forget in my entire life, squeezing myself in and out of the bus during peak hours, trying my best to breathe when i was standing or sitting beside people with body odour... and much more... some were nasty memories, but a lot more were fun and great memories... taking this bus trip back home really gave me the chance to experience and feel back all those memories i had...
... today's journey was like a gondola ride back into my past... went back to my former school, walked from there to Jusco, and ended it by taking bus back home... a complete and great journey for me... i've been missing my life in Kwang Hua for some times, so i'm grateful that i get this chance to refresh my memories again... maybe God wants me to remember it for the rest of my life... don't worry, i don't think i'll be able to forget any of them... i know i don't have many chances left before i go Indonesia next year, so all the memories i had there with everyone i met in Kwang Hua shall i carve in my heart, mind and soul, so that i'll never ever forget...
... i'm happy ...

everything will be just fine...

2007-11-26T08:59:00.000-08:00

... OH MY GOODNESS!!! can't believe it really happened!!! ...
... today morning, when i woke up from my sweet dream of meeting my idols, my mum told me that my dad's car was stolen last night... stunned for a few seconds, i asked my mum again, not believing what i just heard... "Papa's car is stolen!" ... okay, this is clear... but WHAT?! Dad's car is stolen?! by who? how come this happened? ... couldn't believe it! ...
... what happened next was exactly like what all of you may expect --- i asked times and times for details, to know what exactly happened from top to bottom, from the second when they realised that the car was gone until the minute i woke up ...
... and this is what happened: (sounds like story-telling) at about five o'clock in the morning, my mum and sister woke up... when my mum was opening the front gate for my sister, she realised that the spot where my dad parked his car (which is just opposite our house) was totally empty! the car was gone!... and so they woke my dad up, and they reported to the police... ( according to my young sister, my dad just sprang up from bed when my elder sister told him that his car was gone... :p)
... today morning was a busy day for all of us, not that we have to report the case, but to explain the whole thing over and over again to all the people who asked... Malaysians are really "caring" , don't they? now i can "feel" how "much" they "care" for us, when you needed it LEAST!! the aunties, one after another, either came over or gave phonecalls, made my younger sister and i kind of annoyed... actually today was the day for us to clean up our stuff, but thanks to them, we did nothing but cleaning two small little drawers...
... but everything will be fine, everything will be just fine, i believe... my dad drives my mum's car to work temporarily, hoping that our dear policemen will find the car back... ( erm, the chances are slim, really slim, but just give them a chance to prove their abilities :p) every cloud has a silver lining ( is it?) , things will be just fine...

suddenly realised...

2007-11-24T08:06:00.000-08:00

... suddenly realised that i have only less than one year left before i go Indonesia for my studies ...
... hard to believe, isn't it? it's like only few months before i stepped out from Kwang Hua for the last time as a Form 5 student ... time really flies ...
... everyone went on different journey in their lives, proceeding on... of course, i did proceed in my life too... accepted Public Service Department's offer for a medicine degree programme in Indonesia, started my college life (well, it is a college after all, even though it doesn't really look like it) in KTT, the college which i've never ever heard before in my life! well, things seem to go really fast... only 4 months passed, and i've completed what people took almost ten months to complete ... my A-level programme is really an "accelerated" programme i must say...
... now there are about seven or eight months before my departure to Indonesia ... seems like there's a long way to go right? it may seem so , but trust me, time flies... there isn't really much time left before my departure, especially when everyone gets so busy in their studies and lives...
... realising that i'm going overseas in about only half a year, i must waste no more time...
... appreciate and live my life here to the maximum, because i know when i come back years later, life will never be the same again...
... to be frank, i'll be missing people here, especially my family, and my friends... it's always hard to leave all your friends and family... so i shall not miss out any of the gatherings if possible, trying to collect as many beautiful memories here with my friends... memories here i will take together to Indonesia...
... about half a year left before i go Indonesia, suddenly realised, i shall make wise of my every minute and second here...

i'm back, after 39 days of disappearance...

2007-11-21T09:11:00.000-08:00

... my AS exams are finally finished... glad that i didn't spoil any of the papers...
... from 14th of October until today evening, i was in my college ...
... means that i've stayed there for more than a month!!! it's 39 days!!! my college-mates laughed at me for staying there for so long in fact that Klang is just an hour's drive from there... "Just go home larh, stay here for what?! You very funny wan lorr... Stay Klang also don't want to go back..." This was what a lot of people said to me... but i didn't go home after all, until my exams are finally over... haha, quite proud of my determination and courage and what-so-ever ...
... staying there for one whole month wasn't something easy, especially when you are left all alone there... the college was like a dead town, as most of the people were back at their sweet home during the public holidays... i know the college itself is already situated among some deserted shoplots, but during that time it gets worse,and more like a dead town...
... the one-month stayover at my college actually gave me plenty of time to think, and of course, study... it's easy to get emotional there, especially when you are alone... i actually got sick, "homesick" during the second and third week there... missed my home so so much that i really wanted to withdraw from the exams and go home straight... luckily i held to myself, haha ...
... after staying there for one month, i realised that i actually missed my life in Kwang Hua so much... the five years i spent in Kwang Hua was so fun and memorable, and all the memories were so to be cherished... i wish i could go back to that time... really...
... yesterday the seniors finished their exams, and some of them already went home... i didn't get the chance to take photos with them, and i regret it... i love my seniors there, most of them... haha... had some great times with the seniors , especially during weekends when everyone was too bored that we ended up chatting and talking nonsense at the student lounge... what will life be without the seniors??? it would be much more boring i guess... i think i will miss them a lot, actually i already miss them... thank you seniors!!! love you all!!! all the best in your future undertakings!!!
... and now i'm back, ready for my precious one week holidays!!! and after my holidays, it's time for another hectic semester, my last semester in KTT, the semester without seniors...

getting further apart...

2007-10-12T09:13:00.000-07:00

... it may not seem so, but those involved can actually feel it, the fact that we are getting further and further apart from each other...
... yes, stepping into a whole new journey of life may have changed us a little, but i didn't expected that much ... we meet new people, make new friends, and carry on with our new lives ... we get busy, overloaded with tonnes of coursework and exams, and encounter our own problems in life ...
... like going on different roads and journey, we get further and further apart from each other ... yes, we may still love and care for each other, but is the strong bond of friendship still there? is it still there? tears in my eyes ...
... never think that going on different routes in our lives will actually have such a big impact on our friendship ... you all are so important to me , if you all don't know about it... each and everyone of you are such important to me ... i've met new people and may live with them under one roof, but still, you all are important parts of me ... maybe i'm the only one who feels like that ... tears in my eyes...
... i shall let you all walk away and carry on your journey, at the same time i shall move on too, even if i have to walk alone, i shall move on... tears lining down... i don't care to wipe off the tears, just continue on like this, i'll move on ... let's get further and further apart , good-bye ...

honey and clover ... season 2...

2007-10-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

... the second season of HONEY AND CLOVER is finally on air ...
... less comedious acts , more tears bursting out ...
... this is what i can conclude from the first 3 episodes i watch ...
... things get more serious in this season, there is more tears than laughter ...
... the triangle love between Takemoto, Hagumi and Morita , and between Yamada, Mayama and Rika, it's getting complicated as Nomiya fell for Yamada too, and i suspected that Shuji actually loves Rika too! ...
... Takemoto confessed to Hagumi in the last season, but it seems like Hagumi has given her heart to Morita... she likes Morita, and so after Takemoto confessed to her, she started to run away from Takemoto ...
... i suppose their triangle love won't be ending this fast, maybe there'll be more on them soon... not maybe, it's a MUST be...
... meanwhile, Yamada has started working with Mayama and Rika... this is the main focus of the story so far, their triangle, i mean... Yamada still likes Mayama, and that's why she gets hurt again and again when she looks at the way Mayama treats Rika ... somehow i feel that Mayama and Rika will get together in the end, and what's left for Yamada is just sorrow... sad case...
... love is always complicated as it seems, and people get hurt again and again , just to be in love ... it's hard to fall in love with someone you don't love, but it's even harder to not to love someone you already fell for...
... i can just watch the first few episodes of the animation, but i'm sure i'll try to get the whole animation after my examination ...
... sorrow and tearful it may be, but HONEY AND CLOVER 2 is still an animation which is worth watching! ...

as time goes by...

2007-10-09T20:36:00.000-07:00

... as time goes by, you can really stop thinking of someone ...
... as time goes by, the wound inside your heart will slowly recover itself ...
... as time goes by, the image of her in your mind will slowly fade away ...
... now only i agree with these ...
... for how long i didn't even think of her? ...
... for how long has she disappeared from my mind? ...
... i don't know, it just feels like i've forgotten her for such a long time ...
... is it really because of the matter of time? ...
... maybe, who knows? ...
... or... is it because i've fell for someone else? ...
... maybe , yes, it may be ...
... if i've fell for another girl, is she just a substitute of you? ...
... i don't know, but both of you have so many similarities ...
... maybe that's why i fall for her , sigh ...

birthdays in KTT

2007-10-05T06:50:00.000-07:00

... celebrated ALEX and YYS's birthday this week, and it was F U N!!!
... 2nd of October 2007, 11.45p.m., Nikki, Xiao Chien, Fiona and i suddenly came up with the idea of singing birthday song for Alex, whose birthday drops on the 3rd of October...
... since it was too attracting attention to sing at the mamak stall, we went to a table far from people and called him...
... and guess what happened? HE WAS BUSY TALKING TO HIS GIRLFRIEND!! alright, we expected that, nevermind, we FORGIVE him...
... then we PURPOSELY searched for his apartment and planned to sing from downstairs...
... and guess what happened again? we called him and shouted his name, plus clapped our hands too attract him ( i don't know why we did that actually...lolz) , but he didn't hear us!! even Albert and his housemates can hear us! nevermind, we FORGIVE him again, but we must DO SOMETHING on him... *evil grin*
... so the next afternoon, when we went out for lunch in TAMAN CEMPAKA, we brought tiramisu for him , with the words "Bapa Ayam" and a drawing of fish on it...hahaha...
... at night, we celebrated with him at the mamak stall, and what happened next were all crazy and funny stuffs...
... first, Nikki smeared a piece of cake on his face, to take revenge for what he did on her on her birthday...
... so he ended up with cream on his face and shirt...
... while i was busy laughing, suddenly he got me and "shared" his cream with me...
... so i ended up smelling tiramisu too...
... but it's okay, as i took revenge and smeared him with more cream! at last my body smelt tiramisu and my hand smelt mocha...
... we thought it's going to over like that, but apparently it's not...
... Nikki and Variant actually poured 4 cups of water on him, without any signs...
... pity Alex, got wet hahaha...
... then we chatted and chatted and chatted until midnight...
... the next day was YYS's birthday...
... we celebrated it at CR16 this time, with KFC and a chocolate cake...
... same treat applied on her, and the one who did this this time is our Mr.Alex, haha... guess he wanted to take revenge...
... then we played around and Alex and YYS actually started a war! she throwed cakes on him and he poured F&N on her...
... i won't pity them this time... i pity me myself, because in the end we had to clean up the place... but anyway, it's worth it!
... the greatest fun of the night was actually the one of Professor singing the cantonese version of birthday song for her... you'll know how funny it was if you were there, haha...
... i know i won't be able to celebrate with them anymore, those were my only chance, so i enjoyed it to the maximum!!
... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!...

on my journey back...

2007-10-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

... took KTM back today, as usual...
... but what i experienced on my journey back today is the worst of all...
... got up the train just in time, at the NILAI station...
... there was no seat, as usual, so i stood at a side instead...
... it was kind of boring, no topic to talk, as usual, so i remained silent most of the time, looking out and dozing off...
... hop off at KL SENTRAL, oh gosh, it was REALLY crowded there at platform 5...
... as the train to KLANG arriving slowly at the platform, people started pushing each other...
... as usual, too...
... and this is the time when my nightmare started...
... after being pushed by dunno-who-was-that, i was "transported" straight onto the train...
... i exerted no force except holding my bag tight in my hands, people outside "sent" me into the train...
... and then the train started to move...
... i was surrounded by people, gasping for air, as it was too crowded in the KTM and everyone was actually sweating...
... the smell was terrible, and i had to gasp for fresh air...
... fortunately, i am tall enough to breathe fresh air...
... what the...
... there was no extra space for me to move or turn, all i could do is just changing the hand i used to hold my bag...
... still gasping for fresh air...
... and the smell gets more terrible, i felt like throwing up...
... until SHAH ALAM only the train became more empty, but it was still crowded...
... i said to myself, 3 more stops, KEAN SENG, just 3 MORE STOPS!!!
... finally i reached KLANG...
... without any hesitation, i grabbed my bag and rushed down the train...
... took a deep breath, yes, i'm finally home...
... no more nightmares like this, please!

mooncake festival 2007

2007-09-28T10:20:00.000-07:00

... that was my first and the last mooncake festival in KTT, Sepang... and i really enjoyed that night...
... 25th of september 2007, the second last day of my Pre-AS... after finishing my biology practical paper that afternoon, i started to enjoy, as the last paper for my exams is just Malaysian Studies...
... at first i didn't plan to celebrate the day a lot, thinking maybe treating myself with a can of carbonated drink will make the day... laziness was one of the reason, but the major factor was that i don't want to see some people who will spoil my mood for the whole night...
... but anyway, our lives don't really go 100% according to what we plan, right? in fact, sometimes it may go really different from what we planned, just as in this case... i made a decision, and my night just went wild...
... thanks to Mr. Albert, i was able to have a slice of mooncake, and it was nice... then after dinner, we started to light up our lanterns, and thanks to our dear Albert again, who provided the lanterns, the candles and everything... at first we actually faced difficulties in lighting up the lanterns, as all of us forgot how to light them up... funny eh? but of course after some funny moments, we managed to light them up... so we carried the lanterns and walked around the college area, dropping by the party organised by some india-bound students... we didn't stop there very long, and after that we went walking around with our lanterns again...
... then, we decided to go up the hill, to get a bird's eye view of the night Sepang... so we started moving before the others go, so that we could enjoy our time up the hill there... and to my surprise, the view up there was really nice, beautiful scenery... we went crazy, taking pictures non-stop, until someone came out with the idea of scaring the next group of people coming up... we went and hide at a corner, waiting for our "preys" to show up... but in the end, our "big plan" didn't work... nay, they were just so insensitive... such a disappointment... after that, we talked around with our friends who appeared then, with the big group of people... and believe it or not? my classmate actually confessed! he sang Jay Chou's "Qing Tian" , Harlem's "Qing Fei De Yi" and "When You Say Nothing At All" to the girl, with his friends, singing along and playing guitars for him... it was really romantic, and for sure, the girl nodded her head... haha, envious... i'm really happy for him, and he is really all out for her... imagine a guy who does not know any chinese (except "sleep" in chinese) is willing to learn two chinese songs for the girl...
... after "watching" the "singing and confess session", we walked down the hill back to my college... and that was the end of the day...
... this year's mooncake festival celebration was indeed a nice and special experience for me... i've never expected it to turn out this fun and enjoyable...
my one and only mooncake festival celebration in KTT, Sepang... yes, i shall remember it always... this shall be an important part of my happy memories in KTT for sure...

keep laughing, just keep on laughing...

2007-09-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

... i laughed quite a lot two days ago, maybe too much i think...
... i kept on laughing, even forcing myself to laugh out, i don't want to stop laughing, because i know if i ever stop laughing, my tears will be flowing out non-stop...
... that was such a humiliation... i feel so humiliated and embarassed, until i felt like running back home that night itself...
... i just couldn't imagine this happened... that was really the last thing i would want to see it happen, really...
... when i heard it, i really felt like crying, i feel so embarassed and humiliated...
... why does this happen on me? of all the people on earth, why is it me? i don't know how am i going to face this problem... act like nothing happened seems like a good resolution, but for how long i'll have to do this? i don't know...
... am i angry of them? no i'm not, and i'm very sure of this... i don't blame them, i just don't want them to talk of it again... please, leave me alone, get me out of this... let's have it ended here...
... i plead you all, leave me alone, please... don't take my last bit of pride off me, leave me at least a small bit... i can't take anymore of these... so please, stop all these, please...

life is getting hectic...

2007-09-14T10:29:00.002-07:00

... next two weeks will be my Pre-AS exams... really hope that i can strike straight As for all the papers!!
... i think my life is getting more and more hectic, after this exam, i have only two weeks to rest, and straight after that will be my real and the one and only AS examinations, which stretch over October and November...
... so maybe you guys out there won't see me around for two or three months, i might get "disappeared" until my exams are over... be patient, after that, i'll get back into action again... :p wait for my return, will ya?

2007-09-14T10:01:00.000-07:00

...shedded too much tears, that's enough of it...
...i will shed my tears no more for all these, even if this will harden my heart, turning me into a cold and heartless person...
...there are too many wounds all over my heart, too much injuries, i'm too weak for more of it...
...i will become tough and strong, my heart strengthened by the elimination of all the feelings, and then i'll be immuned, immuned against heart-break and sadness, even if this means that i'll have no more emotion, show no more passion... i just want to be protected from all these...
...if you ever see me in the future, if i show no response at all, if i have no expressions on my face, yes, that is my new self...
...my old self has died,after shedding too much tears, after having my heart broken too much... the small pieces of heart that broke apart, like the broken parts of glass, killed my old self...

the long anticipated HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL...

2007-09-14T09:45:00.001-07:00

... finally watched HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2, the long-awaited teenage movie, in my college with some others (actually there were quite a lot...) college mates...
...what can i say about this movie? Zac Efron is still the cute Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens is still the cute and pretty Hudgens, and Sharpay, of course, is still so SHARPAY!!! she looks like Paris , doesn't she? (Don't you see that? :p) the movie is still nice overall, songs are nice too, but i don't really like Sharpay's version of "You are the music in me".... eww... that song is just not right for pinky rock and roll...... sigh...
...it is still an OK movie for me, quite nice to watch... some asked me if the first one is nicer... for me, well, of course the first movie is nice, if not they wouldn't have came out with High School Musical 2 right? i think we can't compare the two , because they are all High School Musical, and High School Musical absolutely rocks!!

best friends are hard to find...

2007-08-31T09:50:00.000-07:00

... i guess i'm a failure in making friends, don't i?...
... everyone thinks that i'm the kind of people who make friends around and have a good network of social relationship... yes, i do admit that i make friends around, i do know a lot of people, i do have many friends , but so what? i can't even get a true best friend... i'm a failure...
... everyone has their own besties, at least a friend, whom they can share anything, talk everything, and they trust in each other... but why, i'm the one who do not have anyone to talk with? i share my everything with them, but do they do the same? i don't know...
... if i could ever find my best friend, i mean the best of the bests, i'm sure i'll be grateful of it and appreciate it very very well...

shan min, and this is for you...

2007-08-28T00:46:00.001-07:00

... since you've tagged me for so so long, i think i better reply it now...

...4 jobs i've had in my life...
~ house-maid (perfect professional manmaid for half a year...)
~ photographer
~ typewriter...( typed all my sister's reports for her club in her university...)
~ son and friend

...4 movies i can watch over and over again...
~ Crying out love at the centre of the world (japanese movie)
~ Love Letter (japanese movie)
~ Pride and Prejudice
~ The Pianist

...4 places i've been on vacation...
~ Melbourne, Australia
~ Hatyai, Thailand
~ Goldcoast, Brisbane, Australia
~ Tioman Island, Malaysia

...4 of my favourite dishes...
~ mum's vegetables soup
~ chicken
~ vegetables
~ eggs.... (i'm not particular in food, really, any nice food will do...)

...4 places i would like to visit...
~ Italy - Venice, Rome, Florence....
~ France - Paris
~ Japan - Hokkaido, Tokyo, Kyoto....
~ New Zealand ( actually i would like to travel the world... :p)

...4 most overused words...
~ sweat / cold
~ lolz / lolx
~ hahaha / hehehe/ hohoho....
~ .................

...4 gadgets that i have...
~ a LG handset
~ thumbdrive
~ calculator
~ camera ( don't ask me the models, i'll never know...)

...4 TV shows i love to watch...
~ Honey and Clover
~ Everwood
~ A Litre of Tears
~ The O.C.

... 4 people i loverzz atm...
~ my mumm
~ my sister
~ my dad
~ my friends ( shall not name any, because i lurv em all!)

is it him?

2007-08-27T07:38:00.000-07:00

... is it him? is it him? is it him? is it him? is it him? is it him? is it him? is it him? is it him?....................
... when i was in primary two, i had a really good friend, he was my best friend... he transferred to another school in Rawang a year later, and since that i didn't meet him anymore, lost contact with him, and he just disappeared from my world... everytime i think of him, tears just started shedding... i lost this good friend of mine, because i lost his contact, and ever since that, i just couldn't find him anymore...
...i know, maybe he has forgotten me, maybe he is living a brand new life now, a life with no trace of me inside... but for me, he is still on my mind... i didn't forget him... even though life gets more and more busy, and i meet new friends, sometimes i still think of him, just suddenly, just suddenly thinking how is he doing now...
...just now, when i was viewing my friendster account, i saw a person who viewed my profile... clicking his name, i was stunned when i viewed his profile... he looks alike with him, and he's from Rawang too... i don't know it is him or not, and i don't have the courage to ask... if it's him? if it's not him? i don't know, i don't know, i don't know!!!!!! ...........

it's back!! HOnEy and CloVeR season 2!!

2007-08-27T07:34:00.000-07:00

... after one year of waiting, it's finally back...
...HONEY AND CLOVER SEASON 2!!!...

i think i'll cry...

2007-08-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

...yesterday night i was thinking, how would i feel if i ever get back to Melbourne one day?...
...then i started imagine...
...the moment i get off the plane at Melbourne airport, i think i'll whisper :" after all these years, i'm here again..." and then looking around, realising that my friends are not with me this time, i'll be a little bit sad...
...if i ever get back to Melbourne, for sure i'll walk pass the Graduate House again, even though i can't stay there, i'll at least drop by and "visit" it again. "Hmmphh, i stayed here last time, yes, in the old wing of the building, with my best friends..." yeah right, we really spent a lot of nice moments in the house...
...going back to Melbourne, taking the tram is simply something u can't miss. i'll hop on the tram, going around in the city, visiting again every single place we visited before... Botanical Garden, the Shrine of Remembrance, Melbourne Zoo and many more... in my mind i'll say :"Hey, i've been here before! with my best buddies!!" and then look around and observe their changes after all these years... yeah, things may have changed a lot by that time, so do people... maybe they have becomed different people, leading their own lives, and im the only one who still cherishing our memories there... people and the surroundings change with time, we just couldn't do anything about this...
...of course, going back to Melbourne, i won't miss Phillip Island. miss all the cute penguins there... if i have the chance to drive, maybe i'll drop by at the surf shop we dropped by too, on the way to Phillip Island... doing the same pose again on the surfboard in front of the shop im planning, just that... will it still be there? sigh
...a walk on the streets is a must-do-thing for me if i ever go Melbourne again... we did most of our journey there on feet, and most of the time running. i will never forget the time we ran here and there just to watch the fireballs and take a nice picture of it... it sounds silly, but hey, it was a good memory indeed! "Hey, we did that as teens before! a lot of people simply don't have the chance to go nuts like us..."another run i remember the most was the run in the rain at night... we ran back to the House after hopping off the tram... i never knew getting wet was that fun, even though everyone was all wet and running in the rain, we were actually laughing and enjoying a good time, weren't we? at least i enjoyed it... i always hoped that we would have another chance to get wet in the rain and running in the rain, just that it didn't happened anymore...if it really rained at night when im there again, i think i won't hesitate to go out and run on the streets again, just as what we did before... silly? yes it might be... but i just want to have that feeling for another time...just one more time...
...and finally, a cup of gelato at Little Bourke Street, if im not mistaken... buy a cup of gelato and have a nice evening walk on the streets, like what we did last time, haha... i think the gelato will still be nice, but the taste will never be the same anymore without you guys, the taste of friendship is gone without you all beside me, and the gelato will not be as sweet as i first tasted it that time... that was the best gelato i had, i believe...
...the memories we had in Melbourne are to be cherished for my whole life, an experience not to be forgotten, and it shall never be forgotten... these memories are irreplacable, by anyone... so i think, if i ever get back to Melbourne, i think i'll cry... really, i think i'll cry...

now only i realised...

2007-08-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

... just recovered from fever and a mysterious skin disease...
...red dots all over my body...
...for heaven's sake they're finally gone...

...and now, only i realised...
...realised how much my mum has sacrificed to take care of me...
...thanks mum...
...realised how much my sisters have sacrificed to let me have a good rest...
...thanks sis...
...realised how much my family members actually care for me...
...thanks my family...

...and then, only i realised...
...realised that i have been sleeping for the past 4 days...
...realised that i have 3 more episodes of hong kong drama to watch...
...realised that i have 3 more novels to finish...
...realised that i still have to meet up with my friends...
...realised that my holidays are actually coming to the end...

...and finally, only i realised...
...realised that i have a lot of things to be completed before school reopens...
...and more important is...
...MY HOMEWORK ARE NOT DONE YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
...and i don't have much time left...
...sigh...

it ruined my holidays...

2007-08-21T08:42:00.000-07:00

... i always hate to fall sick, especially during holidays...( who likes? lolz) but why? why the germs and bacterias and virus always attack me during my holidays? and my mid-sem break this time is so so precious... why can't they just give me a healthy holiday... my holidays are ruined...
...starting from last Saturday, i found myself sick... got fever and sore-throat... and so i slept for the whole day, without realising that that was the beginning of my nightmare... on Sunday morning, when i was in the bathroom ready for a morning bath, i found red dots on my upper arms and on my neck... (eww... i knew something wrong that time...) went to a clinic for doctor, but he can't even tell me what are all the dots on my body! suspected chicken pox he said, but hello, it can't be chicken pox?!!!
...until now, the red dots are already all over my body, and its getting itchy and itchy... sad case... i know it's always not an easy job when u have to deal with all these virus and germs... just hope that i'll get well as soon as possible... BECAUSE this really kills me off!! my holidays are gone!!!

review: Blood Brothers...

2007-08-16T07:59:00.000-07:00

... my holidays just started today. so after coming back from the FAR FAR AWAY KTT SEPANG, i dropped by at jusco klang to watch a movie...
... actually i wanted to watch transformers and Harry Potter, but the time was too late, and by the time i got there, jay chou's Secret has started already... so after much conflict, i decided to watch this BLOOD BROTHERS, which has a solid cast, including our nice Daniel Wu, Liu Ye, Zhang Zhen, Yang You Ning, and Shu Qi...
...at first i thought this movie will be quite boring and long-winded, as i didn't know anything about the story...( how brave am i to watch a movie of which i don't even know what the movie is about!)... however, it actually turned out to be a good movie, good enough for those who are into old-Shanghai gang fight...
...the story is about three good friends(the three main actors), who are from a rural area in China (which i suspected is SuZhou, because of its beautiful and unique sceneries)... these three "brothers" went to Shanghai, in order to make more money and lead to a better life... Daniel Wu and Yang You Ning ended up as trishaw-men and their "big brother", Liu Ye, became a waiter at a renown night club, Paradise...the story goes on as they started to get involved in Shanghai's underground organizations' fights, and their encounter with the two other characters, Zhang Zhen, playing Mark, and Shu Qi, the main actress, who plays Lulu, the night club singer... Liu Ye eventually became the big man in the organisation, due to his brutal personalities, and he became more and more cruel, brutal, and cold-blooded...when the leader of the organization got to know that Zhang Zhen was actually trying to murder him over the years( Zhang Zhen is actually his own brother!) and he also, had an affair with Shu Qi, his "woman", the leader ordered them to kill the both of them... Daniel Wu, who was the good friend of them two, refused to kill them and this led to the break-up of the two brothers... Daniel Wu helped the couple to escape, and after a gun fight between the brothers, they managed to escape, as Yang You Ning finally shot his own brother... however, the kind-hearted young guy ended up dead, beaten by his brother's people when he went back for his injured brother... and starting from this point, a series of killing and gun-shooting took place... the leader died, being killed by Liu Ye himself, and he became the new leader... after that, Shu Qi died too, when they got tracked down by Liu Ye's people down at their hometown... at last , Liu Ye himself got killed by Zhang Zhen, who went to Shanghai again with Daniel Wu to take revenge on Shu Qi's death...
... a very long and complicated storyline i guess, but these good actors really did a good job in portraying their roles in the story...Liu Ye, who plays Kang in the movie, is really good...he plays Kang perfectly i think, and again, accounts have to be given to his superb acting skills!! Shu Qi, too, did a great job as the main actress, even though it's not really perfect... Daniel Wu and Yang You Ning, did their parts equally good, and the convincing performance from Zhang Zhen surely has to be taken into accounts for the success of this movie...
...after watching this movie, i feel rather sad... if only they stayed in SuZhou, if only they didn't decide to go Shanghai, then they would not be involved in all these things... Shanghai , is just like a place for people to fight for their glory, pride and fame... the big city provides them a stage for them to shine brightly, but to achieve this, a lot of things have to be sacrificed, nothing comes without a fight, or a trade... people there chase their dreams and ambition, looking for their own paradise, but without realising , they are losing themselves... when they actually realised, it's too late for them to turn back... some people realised that they are losing themselves, but they still continue on, because their desires have become too strong that they couldn't afford to give them up...
... there were two lines that i remembered well, and they had a strong impact on me... the first one sounds like this " everyone is looking for their own paradise, but they never realised that their paradise are always the one they have in the very beginning..."... another line is like this..." after going on so many routes in life, actually life can be simple and easy..." yes, life can actually be as simple as it is, just that people tend to forget about it...
... this movie is highly recommended by me, but some people may find it boring, if they are not into this type of movie...

back in action...

2007-08-15T18:12:00.000-07:00

... after one week of hectic studies and exams, i'm officially back into action...
... more updates coming up...

of honey and clover...

2007-08-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

... undeniable, this is my favourite animation ever...
... HONEY AND CLOVER...
... i watched this anime for 5 times already, but i think i'll be watching it all over again if i get the chance...
... the anime is actually the story of a group of college students, Mayama, Morita, Takemoto, Hagumi and Yamada... these people are art students in a college... so the anime is about their college lives, and what they are going through in their own lives...
...they encounter love matters, friendship problems and a lot more which we all are going through too during our teenage years... it's about what we are going through now, and that's the main reason, i think, why the anime could touches my heart...
... all the things they encounter in their lives might come real in our daily lives too, in fact, some actually happens in my own real life!
... love, friendship, loneliness, stress, aren't these all problems we will most probably face in our teen lives? we have to encounter these problems, and face the problems, because it is a process we must go through as teenageers to grow up into an adult...
... in the anime, Takemoto is the character i like the most... maybe because i can actually feel what he feels... both of us are the same kind of people, our
personalities are almost the same, so i guess i've got the same frequency as him...
... HONEY AND CLOVER is really a good anime, and i look forward to watching the season 2 of the anime...
...maybe some people outside don't really like this kind of anime, depends on which kind of anime they like. but for me, it's really nice...

1st sketch in ktt...

2007-08-03T07:41:00.001-07:00

... and finally i gave out my first sketch performance in KTT...
...2nd of AUGUST 2007, we all, the students of ALL 3, performed a sketch on family values, in front of our only audience , Mr.Rajan...
...this sketch is actually adapted from the Singapore movie "I NOT STUPID", so it's a comedy plus family sketch...
... i played the role of the child from the middle-class family.. this character of mine , erm... i think those who have watched the movie before should know what kind of child he is...
...we did the sketch quite successfully, with everyone in the class working together... and to my surprise, everyone is actually good in acting!! during practices and rehearsals, they were not serious... but, suddenly when we had to really perform, their acting skills were simply as good as real actors actresses(okay, i know, too much hyperbola isit?)...( i guess they have good potentials, or they just wanted to keep the best for the real performance?)...
...everything just went on smoothly, and we ended it up nicely...(loud applause to everyone!!)...
...this is my first sketch performance in KTT, but i guess there'll be another performance coming, as our dear Mr. Rajan wants us to perform it again during the academic week... ( maybe we acted too good ?? haha)
...glad that despite studying, i can actually take part, again, in this kind of performances... but of course, my best sketch experience is still the one we made together in kwang hua, my buddies!!!

election coming...

2007-08-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

... MPP election will be taking place next week, the week before our mid-semester exams...
... the names will be nominated and will be pasted all over KTT, and each class has to send 3 candidates...
... as i'm an one-year-programme student, actually i have nothing to do with this election except voting... but i guess next week will be really fun as all the candidates will be all out to get votes!! haha look forward to the manifesto day!!
...more details on KTT's MPP election 2007 coming , sooner or later...

it's gone...

2007-07-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

...i think it's gone...
...i thought it's still there, although it is not the same anymore...
...i thought we can still chat, i thought i can bond us up together again...
...but it doesn't work, it just.... just doesn't work...
...maybe i shall just give up, yeah, maybe...
...feel the pain from the deepest part of my heart...
...tears rolling in my eyes, i try not to cry...
...yeah, it's gone, really gone...
...our friendship is gone...

the sound

2007-07-26T19:25:00.000-07:00

... put my files and books on the table, went into my room, i lied on my bed...
... so exhausted, i feel so exhausted...
...closed my eyes, i tried to nap for a while...
...nobody was at home, and all left was the sound of fan turning...
...suddenly, i felt so scared, so scared, so afraid...
...it was the sound of loneliness...
...felt like crying...

week 3: of gastric pain, homework trauma, maths phobia and harry potter fever...

2007-07-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

...my third week of study in KTT really passes fast...
...just recovering from a sudden fever on last saturday, i came back to KTT to start my third week of study here, with gastric, unfortunately... and the pain stretched from sunday to tuesday just because i didnt take antacids... no matter how much i ate, and how difficult i swallowed down the food because the gastric pain was killing me off, the gastric pain was still haunting me... couldn't stand of the sudden pain which attacked me during my classes anymore, i asked for antacids from mr.ALBERT.. after taking two antacid pills, i got better eventually... really grateful that the killing pain had finally left me...
...and then the week was all about homework and tests...i had my biology test on monday, followed by maths on tuesday. despite tests, i got bombarded with tonnes of homework from my lecturers everyday... so every night i was in library(as usual) trying to finish off my homework( which i never successed in doing it...) really feel the stress now as the exams coming ( 2 weeks to go) and i don't really can do all the tutorials, especially biology! ( don't understand chemistry until the very last minute, as usual lolz)
...as i told before, my maths lecture is like going on an express train, and it still is now... i completed 2 more chapters again this week, which means that another two miscellaneous exercises to be done! i don't really want to do maths anymore... it's getting hard, especially the graphs and functions (still can't get the domain and range right)... i think i have maths phobia now...
...and this week is truly a harry potter-fever week!! ever since the last book was published, my indian classmates KOHI and ASH were discussing it all the time!! they finished the last book within hours,which i got stunned hearing that... yeah, they are really die-hard fans of mr.HARRY...
... this week was really hectic,and i hope i'll be able to catch up all the things by next week!! IM ALL OUT FOR MY STUDIES!!!

happy birthday...

2007-07-22T21:29:00.000-07:00

just want to wish you, a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

new timetable, new arrangement of time, new arrangement of life...

2007-07-22T21:14:00.000-07:00

...starting today, i'll follow my new timetable in KTT...
...after the seniors took their IELTS exams last week, the administrators have changed our timetables... new timetable...means new arrangement of my time here, and also my life here...
...speaking of my new timetable, actually only 5 more hours of ENGLISH and KENEGARAAN classes are added, but .... MY TIMETABLE IS CHANGED UPSIDE-DOWN!!! my classes are thoroughly changed, and monday seems to be the worst day of study in one week!!! 9 hours of classes!!! from 8a.m. to 7p.m. straight , and i just have one and only break from 12p.m. to 2p.m.!!! it's hectic, really... AND IM GOING TO MISS FATE/STAY NIGHT BECAUSE MY CLASS ONLY END AT 7PM!!!!
...another day i don't really like is thursday, which is similar to the above---- the class ends at 7..... this really brings a lot of impact to my thursday life....because..... NO MORE PASAR MALAM!!!! NO MORE MURTABAK!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!! i really gonna miss my murtabak...
...the only good thing in my new timetable is that there is only one class on friday, which is mathematics lecture from 11-12... SO.... I CAN GO HOME EARLY!!! NO MORE SQUEEZING IN THE CROWDED KTM DURING BUSY HOURS!!! YIPPEE!!!!
...what to do?? it's decided... so i think i'll just have to follow the timetable and go on.....FIGHTING!!

i can foreseen a busy me in the future 5 months...

2007-07-18T20:48:00.000-07:00

it is all about studies here in KTT... as an 1-year-programme student here, i have to finish my AS level this year, which means that i will have to take my AS examination this novenber... i can merely feel the stress now....haha

here in KTT, i have to take up chemistry, biology and mathematics, not counting in english and LAN subjects... i ahvn't start my english and LAN now, but i guess i'll have the classes soon, as the seniors will take their IELTS speaking examination this friday and saturday... so, i think my timetable will get even more compact!!! 9 hours of classes for biology, chemistry and mathematics every week, plus english and LANs, will i have any free time left?

i've been here for 3 weeks, not counting the 1-week orientation i had, which was so much fun, then i have started my studies for two weeks... and in these two weeks, life is really all about studies... 3 chapters of maths in the 1st week, and now i have finished 6 chapters in two weeks ( maybe will be finishing the 7th on friday)... for biology, my lecturer doesn't teach very fast, but she always finish it on time... for biology, my class will be finishing the 2nd chapter this friday... and for chemistry..... sigh... just finished two chapters, but i think we could be even faster.... madam, actually you can speed up you know?! and please... no more examples from the textbook, because we all can read through the examples in the textbook ourselves.......

.... life is all about studies here, but i will try my very best to make my life here as fun as possible!!! WILL NEVER EVER LEAVE ANY REGRETS IN THIS ONE YEAR TIME!!! till then.....

there was a baby bat in my apartment....

2007-07-18T20:19:00.000-07:00

18th JULY 2007----- It was about 8.30p.m. The moment i opened my apartment door, i saw my friends all weaponed! "WHAT is happening here??"i whispered to myself... "heyy, there is a baby bat in the bathroom!!"my fellow housemate told me. HUH?! A BABY BAT? how come there is a baby bat in the bathroom?? i doubted if it was a joke... but .... NO IT WASN'T!!! there was really a small baby bat inside my bathroom!!!
.... and so we started "catching" the bat to release it out of my apartment...after much chaos and quite a lot of noise made, we finally managed to trap the bat inside a paper box... after that, we took the box down and release the bat at the abandoned shophouses opposite my college... haha, we gained so many attention that everyone at mamak was asking us what was inside the box... and their looked-so-surprised face expressions when we told them that there was a bat inside were really funny.....
.... however, i feel so sorry for the cute baby little bat... the baby bat was so cute!!! but we had no choice but to take it out of my apartment....sorry, baby bat.... don't simply fly into human's apartment next time!!! beware of your own safety!!!

my day... 16th july...

2007-07-17T01:06:00.000-07:00

... 11.30a.m... i was on my bed in KTT, about to sleep... i wanted to sleep already, since there'll be class at 8a.m. tomorrow... but don't know why... i closed my eyes, but my mind was still in active mood... i guessed the inner side of me myself wanted to wait until 12a.m...

...12a.m... the time had finally come... yes, im offically 17... complicated feelings i had haha... 17, kind of hard to believe... after singing a birthday song to me myself, i was about to sleep... *sing birthday song to himself, pity this guy huh?!* suddenly *really suddenly*, i SENSED someone looking at me from outside my room!!!so i opened my eyes, and then they came in... yeahh, my housemates and my guys friends there... they came in and sang birthday song for me. 1st birthday song in KTT that i had... thanks to all of them!!!

...1a.m... i handphone was still vibrating in every few minutes!!! tonnes of messages i received!!! really appreciated all those messages from my fellow college-mates and my most lovely 5S1 pals!!! thank you guys!!! love you all so much!! but my eyes couldn't take it anymore... so i just ignored all the messages after that and fell asleep straight... thanks to all the people who sent me wishes through sms!!!

...7a.m... just woke up from my sleep, i opened my phone, and saw some unread messages... and then i prepared myself for MY DAY!!! still had to study though... HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEAN SENG!!

...8a.m... walked into my class at lecture hall 1, i received wishes from my fellow classmates, and it was followed by a simple but still nice birthday song... second and last birthday song for me this year.... and after that life just went on like normal... had my classes....

...2p.m... had my first time ever chemistry experiment ... did titration, and it was really fun... I LOVE EXPERIMENTS!!!

...6p.m... i was starving already... but they hadn't come down yet!!! okay! fine! if they don't come down after 6.30p.m., i won't wait for them anymore!!!

...6.45p.m... ordered nasi goreng cina... yes, i did not wait for them... couldn't wait anymore!!! i was starving already!! i know it's pity to have just fried rice for my birthday, but what to do? i shall be grateful for all the things i have got...

...8p.m... watched FATE/STAY NIGHT just now... watching KYO KARA MAOH in student lounge, and here they came... albert and chin liang bought me presents... and so did xiang wei who came in after that... thanks to albert, chin liang and xiang wei!!! * albert gave me cheezels, chin liang gave me nescafe latte, and xiang wei gave me cakes and 100plus... THE CAKE WAS SO NICE!!! yoghurt cheese cake, i'll remember it.... must eat it next time!!!

...11.59p.m... my day is going to end in 1 more minute... hmm... so it ended like this huh?! yeah, this year's birthday is still not bad for me,haha although i still can feel the lack of celebrations done...
but im really thankful for everything you all have done for me today!!! *what would my 18th birthday be? i wonder... * so, in this very last minute of my day, i want to thank all the people who had wished me throughout the whole day!!! may all your wishes come true!!! and here, lastly, i want to make my birthday wishes:
1. i hope i can excel in my coming A-level exams!!!!! 15 points hopefully!!! please.... make this wish come true!!!
2. i hope all the people i know, my lovely family, my fellow friends, and of course me myself, can live a HAPPY and HEALTHY life!!! hope that everything goes smooth in our lifes!!! GOOD LUCK!!
3. i'll keep this to myself... shh... it's top secret!!

...12a.m... it's 17th july now, and so my day ended..... lolz

17

2007-07-15T20:07:00.000-07:00

...17 years old i am now...
... complicated feelings haha...
... 17 years old, 1 year before legal 18, 1 year after sweet 16, so what is 17?? sexay 17? i don't think this applies on me?! sweet 17? i hope to have one, but will it be possible? as life now is just all about studies?! sensitive 17?? hmmphh.... maybe... who knows?? haha teenagers are always sensitive, so maybe i will too... lolz....
... but .. what i actually want in my 17-year-old life?? first love?? excel in my studies?? wealth??(nah, this is not going to happen on me!!) or can i choose all of them? (this would be great!)
... this questions was on my mind last night... and i thought about it for one whole night (so, last night was actually another sleepless night for me... feel a little sleepy now... haha ) ...
... at last, i finally figured out the answer for this question...
... what i want is.... TO ENJOY MY LIFE!!! and have all my dreams come true!!!
... this is my birthday wish... so hopefully it will really comes true!!!
... HAPPY 17 TO ME!!!

and the journey begins...

2007-07-15T20:04:00.000-07:00

16th july 2007......
the time has finally come......
and the journey begins......