a new chapter of life...

... a new chapter of life ...
... a whole new place to live ...
... to know how i adapt in JOGJA ...
... please kindly visit keanseng16790.wordpress.com ...

... 18 ...

... 18 days left ...
... and then i'll be in another country, at another corner of the world ...
... pursuing my dreams ...
... starting off another new life ...
... leaving all my fellow friends here, of course i feel sad ...
... of course i want to be with them, sharing life ...
... but then, it's my dream ...
... i have to move on with my own life ...
... so i'll leave ...
... i'll stay strong and tough there ...
... not losing my laughs and smiles ...
... i'll miss you guys ...
... and you guys make me strong enough to overcome loneliness ...
... i will be fine ...
... so need not worry about me ...
... we'll meet again, sooner or later ...
... we'll meet, again ...
... 18 days more ...
... 18 days more ...
... bon voyage, to me ...

... critical thinking ...

... what should i do now? what should i do? ...
... this is what a lot of people will think at the very first second when they face serious trouble or be in great danger ...
... i admit i may be one of them, too ...
... why am i mentioning about this critical thinking thing? ...
... today, 6 houses nearby my house got on fire, thank god they didn't get burn down to ashes ...
... and the houses are just 1 minute walk from my house ...
... imagine how near that is ...
... luckily the wind blew to another side, bringing the flame not to the direction of my house ...
... if not ...
... when i got back home after "offering my concern" with my neighbours, (i know i'm getting auntie-ish nowadays... sigh... ) i started thinking about this critical thinking ...
... many people get panicked when they get into serious danger or trouble ...
... just take the fire as an example, what will you think of saving at the first place? ...
... many people will say "of course your documents!" ...
... yes, it is ...
... but will you be calm enough to even think of taking your documents with you? ...
... or you just run out of the house without saving anything? ...
... according to my mum, one of her friend actually chose to save her marriage photo instead of any other thing ... lolz ...
... laugh, you may, but are you sure that you won't be saving anything similar when you are in that particular situation? ...
... and so i asked this to myself ...
... what would i choose to save? ...
... the first thing of course would be my most-important-of-all IC and other personal documents ... and also my family's ... lolz ...
... then the next thing would be my valuables ...
... what are my valuables? ...
... money, of course, i won't let them get burnt down to ashes ...
... and my laptop, i won't let it burnt in the fire, I JUST BOUGHT IT LAST WEEK! HOW COULD I LET MY 2000 BUCKS BURNT DOWN TO ASHES?! ...
... next, my CDs ... i know it's not important, but hello, they costed my alot ...
... and then my clothes, my books, etc haha ...
... i think there won't be enough time for me to save all these ...
... or if there is time, the fire is not big enough, so no worries ... lolz ...

... odd against all ...

... all in sudden i think i'm in great danger ...
... those i trusted before seem not worth to be trusted anymore ...
... i didn't know they can get that close ...
... they know i never liked those people, they know it ...
... but those people don't know about it, at least i think they don't know about it ...
... but now, they get so close ...
... then maybe what i told them have been said to those people ...
... now i'm like an island in the middle of the sea, standing against all the sharks swimming around me ...
... great danger it is ...
... i don't know if my secrets are safe with them, let's just pray that they have at least a little bit of morale ...
... or i should just care less about them ...
... like ... what's wrong with them knowing my secrets? ...
... no big deal?! i don't care! ...
... oh no, it IS a big deal if they ever get to know ...
... at this moment, i'm the odd, against them all ...
... so anyone, lend a helping hand please ...

... who to believe? ...

... in our lives, everyone has their own secrets, everyone has their own plans to come out with ...
... we live on with these secrets and plots ...
... telling gossips, stabbing people's backs seem to be one of the way to keep our survival in our own circle of life nowadays ...
... we tell gossips about others, stabbing people's backs ...
... then we get gossips about others, we gain the information we want ...
... is this right? ...
... there's no safety to tell any other people any secrets today, because even your closest friend could stab you at your very own back ...
... and getting cheated by a close friends hurts 100 times more than losing to someone you hated ...
... but now, who to believe? ...
... if there's no one to be trusted, then who to believe? ...
... who is there to share your deepest feeling when you seriously need to tell someone how you actually feel? ...
... there's always a big bunch of so-called-friends out there to listen to you, so that they can share it to even more people ...
... sharing is caring xoxo ...
... so think carefully before you even say anything bad about other people, or before you tell anyone your secrets ...
... because the traitor may be beside you all these whiles ...

... happy birthday to me, again ...

... for the past few years i have been doing this ...
... happy birthday to me ...
... happy birthday to me ...
... happy birthday to me ...
... happy birthday to me ...
... can't believe that i have to do this again ...
... in this year, this very important year for me ...
... it's my 18th birthday ...
... it's my last birthday before flying to a land where i'm not really sure if there's any secret recipe or even baker's cottage ...
... before 12, birthday messages have been arriving, so many msn windows that i couldn't read all at a time ...
... adding to it, phone calls ...
... but, thank you people, really, thank you for what you all have done for me ...
... i appreciate it very very very much ...
... but still, there's still something missing which i can't tell, because me myself just can't figure out what that is either ...
... but yes, still, there's something missing, and i can feel it really much ...
... that makes me a little sad and down in the very first hour of my birthday ...
... then the day passed just like that ...
... yes, i'm sure that there's a "what?!" thought now in your mind ...
... that's what i'm thinking ...
... but still, what happened was what had really happened ...
... the day had passed just like that, JUST LIKE THAT ...
... i'm not expecting much, but please, at least make me feel good on my very own birthday ...
... sorry to say that i don't feel really happy and excited on my birthday this year, as i said, something is missing, and that thing is important as it is ...
... the electricity went "off" in the middle of the night, a heavy downpour in the morning, 3 pieces of biscuits, it's Jacob's, for breakfast, plus an apple, instant noodles for lunch, thank GOD it was korean instant noodles, HAHAHA, and then, no cake, no birthday cake because i refused to buy any cake from the cakehouse out there since their cakes are ridiculously sweet and oily and NOT LIKELY TO EVEN BE SWALLOWED INTO MY MOUTH!!! ...
... so, what do you think? ...
... how could i not feel down as i'm going through this MISERABLE UNEXPECTEDLY BAD LEGAL AND SWEET IF IT MAY 18TH BIRTHDAY!!! ...
... alright end of story ...
... i'm not writing those things anymore ...
... before the clock ticks at 12 again to end my very very very PRECIOUS 18th birthday, i shall sing it once again ...
... happy birthday to me ...

... the future us ...

... remember we were such good friends during childhood time ...
... went to tuition classes together, played together ...
... we were such good friends, not even to care when people gossipping about we two like puppy lovers ...
... i really didn't care much about it, because i do like you ...
... or let's say like this, i do want to be with you ...
... then we went running into different paths ...
... studying in different grades really did expose us to new environments ...
... the environment without each other ...
... we still kept in touch, but not that close anymore ...
... but still, i do like you, and i still want to be with you ...
... until i got to know you and him ...
... you didn't know i was just three seats behind the both of you on the bus back ...
... and of course, you didn't know that my heart was really broken into pieces that time ...
... really into pieces, into tiny pieces ...
... i didn't drop any tears, after a long time until when i looked back into my past and realised that i really like you ...
... but now, finally, finally i let it go ...
... i let the feelings go by themselves ...
... what will happen in the future we won't know ...
... so let's just see if anything happens ...
... but still, i think i do like you ...